Hurt

"What have I become, my sweetest friend?  Everyone I know, goes away in the end."

I have spent the better part of today by myself, which is a first for me since my arrival on campus.  Except for my class and two meals, I have been alone.  There are times when I do not mind, if not prefer to be alone.  It is during those times that I can often think more clearly and actually get work done.  But, ever since I have been here there has always been someone around, even just in passing.  Today seems to be a bit empty, devoid of contact...alone.

Over the past month I have spent a considerable amount of time with the people in my First Year Class.  We have attended services together, eaten our meals together, worshiped together, and even hit the town together.  This is the very definition of community, a place of mutual support and love.  I will be the first to admit that every now and then a break from community is a good thing, a healthy thing.  However, I heard this song this afternoon and it has kind of set my mood for the rest of the day.  The song is called Hurt and it is performed by Johnny Cash, though originally written and performed by Nine Inch Nails.  I personally prefer this version over the original.  Johnny Cash recorded the song and the music video in 2002 shortly before his death in 2003.  After being diagnosed with a terminal disease Johnny looked back at his life and legacy and it was impossible for him to not feel pains of regret for some of his actions.  This video so eloquently captures that raw emotion, especially as we see Johnny sitting at the piano hitting one note over and over again, while scenes of his life pass by on the screen.  This is a song that stirs up some very powerful emotions, and it does so to me.

On my desk next to my computer sits a picture.  It is an old picture, if you can consider 1999 old, and though I am not in it I do remember being there.  In the picture is my aunt Carol, my uncle Richard, and my father.  While I cannot confirm it, mainly because I cannot remember another gathering like this one, but this very well may be the last time they were all together in one place.  It is a picture of a family that has been tragically torn apart by the malevolent will of Man and the benevolent will of God.  I looked at this picture while the song was playing and I thought about my own regrets.  I thought about the things that I wish I could take back, the things that perhaps should have been said or done that will forever remain in that place of unknown.  I began to identify with Johnny, but I quickly realized that I cannot live into these emotions and let them bury me.  I must acknowledge them, for sure, but I must not allow these thoughts to cloud my mind and control my actions.  I am here today because of what my father and uncle had given me.  I must never forget the lessons that they taught me or the shinning example of their witness that brought forth the love of God into this world.  It is ok to feel this way and it is ok to be alone, but it is the love and support of community that will bring me back from this place.  It is through community that I am reminded, of my gifts and my responsibility to their memory and to God, to let my gifts shine forth in this world.  While we all may need a break from community every now and then, we must not succumb to the belief that we can live our lives without it.

There will be more days like this, that much you can count on, but for me, it is about what I must do to make sure that I pull myself back to my feet so that I can walk again in the knowledge and love of God and be a shinning example for others like those who came before me.

Origen and Tertullain...what are they saying???

In my History of Christianity course we have now moved from the initial Christian communities and we are now entering the third century.  At this point Christian communities have grown beyond the Holy Land and can be found through Asia Minor, Greece, Rome and a large portion of Northern Africa.  As each of these communities began to grow and spread across the Roman Empire they began to form their own identity.  This identity was usually forged in slight variations of practices as well variations in the understanding of the nature of Christ.  The Christians in North Africa will be different then the Christians in Greece.  We are now immersed in two early Christian writers who are lumped in with several more writers/thinkers/bishops that have come to be known as the Patristics.

As Christianity spread these writers struggled to form the identity of the early Christian Church.  They sorted out different theories surrounding the nature of Christ and the Trinity.  They defended their beliefs and practices against other groups who proclaimed their version of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  Ultimately they laid the foundation upon which we have created our identity, our scriptures, and our doctrine of the church today.  I am reading works from two of the Patristics...Origen and Tertullian.  These two men are not saints, and at certain times their works were declared heretical, but yet still hold an important role in the understanding of and formation of the Christian faith.  Now I don't know how many of you have had the opportunity to read 3rd Century Christian works but they are not easy.  Not easy at all.

The excerpts that I am reading from Origen is from On First Principles.  Now this isn't the first time that I have read Origen.  In fact Mark and I spent a considerable amount of time reading and discussing his commentary on the Gospel of John.  Origen was hard to read then and is still hard to read now.  In this reading he is writing about how scriptures should be read.  He believes that one cannot read the scriptures on just a literal level and that there is more to it than that.  He comments about the spiritual side and that there are things we must figure out for ourselves in order to truly understand what was written.  Now at first glance this sounds very familiar, in that the Anglican tradition is based on this very idea that there is more to the scripture than what it says on the surface.  As opposed to the more modern Evangelical Christians who base their faith on the totality of scripture and that if the Bible says, it must be true.  I was surprised to find out that someone from the 3rd Century was already thinking that way.  However, I ran into my official mentor Jeremy who is focusing on the Patristic era for his MA warned me that the literal understanding of scripture for Origen is different from our modern literal understanding of scripture.  So then what does he mean???

In the excerpts from Tertullian we are diving head first into one of the first descriptions and understanding the nature of Christ and the Trinity.  Now this is some heavy stuff.  At this point in time there are various people making very different claims about the divinity and nature of Christ.  So in order to provide some clarity on the subject Tertullian throws his hat into the ring and defends his beliefs.  In his work On the Flesh of Christ, he writes about how the Spirit and flesh of Jesus did not meld into one being, however the Spirit was dwelling within him, as a separate yet unified entity.  Que???  I get the general gist of his argument and I see how this defense works against the claims laid by others, especially Marcion.  Fortunately we will be discussing this tomorrow in class, bright and early.  There is nothing quite like Christological arguments at 8:00 on a Friday morning.  I will let you know if it becomes any clearer.

Diversity in the Episcopal Church

For my Anglican Life and Tradition course there is a specific focus of the diversity within the Anglican Communion.  We are looking at this focus from different perspectives and right now we are looking at the early history of the Church of England and the initial formation of the Communion.  Over the last three weeks I have been reading articles and books about Henry VIII and the church that he instituted and which was then further developed and defined over the next 200 years.  I have a four page reflection paper due next week that asks me to briefly describe how the diversity of Anglicanism is identified in a chosen set of readings, explain how tat diversity illustrates the nature of Anglican ethos and identity, and then wrap it all up with my own experience of Christian ministry.  That is a lot to fit into a four page paper so I am not actually worried about being able to write something that fits the parameters.  But I have been looking back upon the last few months and the diversity that I have experienced within the Episcopal Church.

Over the past month I have now visited three different churches with three very different communities.  All of this is then coupled with the services that I have experienced in the chapel, usually twice a day, and it is amazing just how diverse the services are within the Episcopal Church which is indicative of the wider church.

Let's take Grace Cathedral.  Given the fact that it is the seat of of the diocese of California and therefore carries with it a certain amount of expectation in the way the services are conducted.  Since they have the resources they have a renowned choir, many different outreach programs, educational opportunities and fully live out all of the "smells and bells" that can accompany a typical Rite II service.  The congregation that they minister to is that of tourists, travelers and there is a core group of regular parishioners who call the cathedral home.

On the other hand if we look at St. Alban's you will find that it is the opposite end of the spectrum.  The church is itself is more modern in design and modest in terms of size of congregation.  There was no incense or parade of choir and ministers, there weren't kids running around, but it was a typical suburban neighborhood parish.  What makes this setting so interesting is the deep relationships that the parishioners share with each other because they live in close proximity to each other and the church.  When I arrived last Sunday it felt like being welcomed into one of their homes as a guest, it was that warm and caring.  The music was familiar and the congregation was invited to participate in the service as much as possible.

If you really want to see the variety in the ways of worship within the Episcopal Church, come worship at our chapel for a week and you will see some interesting things.  I was amazed at first because I wasn't aware of all of the supplemental materials that exists.  These supplemental services are variations on the traditional Book of Common Prayer but that have been developed and adapted over many years.  At our chapel we cycle through these various services over a three week period so that we, as future priests in the church, become very familiar with the diversity of services available.

As you can see there is breadth of options that one can find in the way we do "church" and that from that diversity we can express our faith and worship God in many different ways.  The service is just but one example of how diverse the Episcopal Church is and the Anglican Communion for that matter.  I won't even begin to get into the diversity of ways in which we understand and interpret scriptures...at least not right now.  (A preview of things to come???)

St. Alban's - Albany

So yesterday I decided to visit a church that was relatively close to the CDSP campus in the city/town of Albany.  Albany is located just north of Berkeley and to get into the main street area of the town you must first pass through a tunnel that goes through on of the hills that surround Berkeley.  It is small town, much like the towns that surround Boston with a main drag, Solano Ave, that cuts through the town from north to south.  There are all sorts of restaurants and coffee shops lining the street and the church is a block away from this town center.

Jason had pointed out that there was an Episcopal church with a community that has supported CDSP seminarians for years and that I should check it out.  Because of the close proximity of the church to campus I didn't have to wake up as early which was nice, since for the service last week Jason and I had to be out the door before 7:00 to make it to the 8:00 service on time.  Yesterday I was accompanied by my friend Maura, who is an MA student working towards a degree in the historical and cultural relations of religions.  Since she is not in the MDiv program she is not subject to the same expectations as me, namely attending on campus services and "church shop" on Sundays.  She is a cradle Episcopalian who was very involved in her home parish in Pasadena but she decided she needed a few weeks off.  So, I was a little surprised when she inquired about where I was going and if she could tag along.

The church is situated on the corner of two streets hidden behind a row of trees.  From the outside the church just sort of blends into the surrounding community and would almost go unnoticed if it weren't for the sign out front.  It reminded me a lot of the Church of Our Savior in Mill Valley in that from the outside it looks like a modern building but the inside being very different.

A view from across the street

Once inside we were greeted immediately by members of the congregations and handed leaflets.  Maura and I sat in a pew in the middle of the congregation and looked at the stained glass that surrounded us.  The glass windows were beautiful but very contemporary in design.

One of the windows

The sanctuary

The service was a typical Rite II service.  The liturgy was middle of the road and they hand a choir of about six people.  The congregation seemed a bit older and I didn't see any children either but they may have been in Sunday School.  It looked like an interesting community to serve for field ed and I know that the rector has a lot of experience working with seminarians, but I don't think that it will be site for me. 

We left after the service and we were back on campus to catch the second half of the Pats game.  Not a bad Sunday morning.  I think I will go to a Berkeley parish next Sunday, but we will see and I will let you know.

Staff Meeting

There is a tradition here at CDSP that I have had the opportunity to partake in every Thursday night and it is called Staff Meeting.  This event is the culmination of what is dubbed Community Night and it is a great opportunity to unwind after a long week of studying.  In order to understand Staff Meeting and why it is necessary I must first explain what Community Night entails.

Every Thursday evening we have Community Night and it starts with the 5:45 Eucharist.  This is the one service of the week when we go all out.  Each of the Thursday services is planned two weeks in advance by the people who will serve during the Eucharist.  This meeting usually involves some six to ten people and they design the liturgy.  So for night we used a Eucharistic prayer from the Anglican Church of Canada.  The prayer that was chosen is similar to our own Eucharistic Prayer C, only this prayer was chanted all the way through.  This service is also when we will invite guest preachers to preach, so we had the priest-in-charge from St. Mark's Berkeley because they are hosting one of our students for field ed.  This is the one service during the whole week when we will have a crucifer, two torch bearers, a lector, a lay assistant, a presider and a preacher all processing into the chapel.  The only thing missing is the incense.  Every student, professor, and administrator is encouraged to come, with their families if they are on campus, and it  is usually packed.  It is also the one service when a group of students will act like a choir and sing during communion.  So it really is a big production and the one service where we are expected to attend, though it is not required.

After the service we head over to Easton Hall, one of the several buildings on campus that serves as a guest house for visitors, for a reception.  Beer and wine are provided as well as an array of snack items.  This serves two purposes, first it allows us to gather in community and hang out with each other in an informal atmosphere, and it also allows a group of people to set up the dinning hall for dinner.  At around 7:00 we then head across the street to the dinning hall for a family style dinner.  Since we take up most of the dinning hall we have to wait until after normal dinning hours so that the students from other schools have an opportunity to eat.  Then we come in and take over the building.  the past few weeks the food has been so-so but it is nice to be able to sit down with people that I don't normally see and eat together.  Then once dinner winds down someone goes around to each table and declares that Staff Meeting will occur in twenty minutes.  Staff Meeting originally started as a Theology on Tap type of program, but when the program went mainstream and was copyrighted the students at CDSP decided to change the name and drop the "program" that went along with it to make it less formal.

So after dinner we head to LaVal's Pizzaria and stake our claim to several of the tables that are outside in the courtyard.  We then proceed to hang out, drink beer or wine, and relax.  What makes this so unique is that professors come down and spend time with us.  Several of the professors that I have for my classes have been there, especially my Anglicanism professor who shows up each week.  It is a great time to relax and talk about absolutely anything in a very informal environment.  You really get to know people outside of the seminary setting and the boundaries between student and teacher are torn down, at least for a night.

I really like this tradition because it provides an opportunity for fellowship off campus and with people whom you might not normally spend time with.  However there is one drawback to Staff Meeting.  I have to be careful because I have an 8:00AM history class on Friday so I don't want to go overboard or else I will be paying for it the next day.  Fortunately though my history professor is a regular at Staff Meeting and I figure when he leaves, it is probably best that I leave too.  While we may change what our Community Nights may look like, I do hope that we continue with our weekly Staff Meeting.

Church of Our Savior - Mill Valley

For this week's church visit I joined my friend/adopted mentor Jason to the church where he is currently doing his field ed in Mill Valley.  In a lot of ways it was very reminiscent of my home parish, St. John's, but also different.  Mill Valley is a suburban city, heck it may even be a town, located about 12 miles north of San Francisco in Marin County.  As Jason so eloquently stated, the residents have more money than God.  It is a beautiful community nestled in a valley, go figure, and is filled with giant redwood trees and surrounded by hills.  It reminded me Newton in that they are both affluent suburban communities within close proximity to major metropolitan areas. 

Since Jason is doing his field ed at the parish he is supposed to be there for both of the services on Sunday.  That meant that he was knocking on my door at 6:50 to make sure I was up and ready because we had to leave.  At 7:00 on a Sunday morning, CDSP is still fast asleep.  As we walked to the parking lot we didn't see a soul.  It was a nice ride out to Mill Valley.  The sun was just creeping over the top of the hills and there was actually no fog so it was a beautiful morning.  We cruised across the Richmond Bridge and made our south down the CA101 towards SF, before getting off and weaving our way to Mill Valley.  In all it was about a twenty five minute ride, though we did have to stop at McDonald's for coffee and a small bite to eat.

The church is located just outside the center of town in a very residential area.  Around the corner was a UCC church and a pretty big park just a block away.  I definitely wouldn't mind living there, but I don't thing I will ever make enough money to afford it.  The church itself is very simple in design, at least from the outside.  It wasn't very large, in fact it was probably the size of St. John's.  There was more than enough room for the services but there was no way they were going to fit 200 people in that space.  Off to the left of the main church building were the offices and many rooms used for Godly Play and other youth programs.

A view from the outside of the Church of Our Savior, Mill Valley

A view from inside the courtyard

Inside the courtyard

Wooden statue and small fountain in the courtyard

The inside of the church

Jason left me in the pews so that he could go get ready for the 8:00AM service.  The eight o'clock service is a Rite I spoken service.  There was no music and all of about five people in the congregation, including me.  Does this sound familiar to anyone back home???  I think there were more people serving up on the altar than there was in the pews.  For this Sunday we had a guest preacher, a brother from the Society of St. Gregory.  I have never heard of it before but apparently it is a lay and ordained society that allows men, regardless of age, profession or marital status to become members.  Brother Thomas, our preacher, works in LA for Google by day and then performs his societal commitments during the weekend.  They wear a traditional alb with some brown colored garment draped over their shoulders.  They do carry a rosary and wear a brown beanie.  To me they seemed very Catholic, but I don't know.  Oh and the priest of Our Savior, Richard, is also a member of the order.  Brother Thomas preached a good sermon and we had Eucharist and were done before nine.  Jason then showed me around a bit while we waited for the ten o'clock liturgy to begin.  I also had an opportunity to chat with Richard a little, which was cool, to learn more about the parish and the area.

I picked an interesting week to visit the parish because they had two events occurring simultaneously.  First, this was their homecoming/start of the year Sunday.  So the choir was singing for the first time, the Sunday School started up, so there were a lot of people in attendance.  They also have a whole lot of kids.  I mean a lot of kids.  Their youth program is huge and understaffed, but it was amazing to see so many little ones running about.  This was also the day of a baby shower hosted by the church for the priest's wife who is about to give birth in the next few weeks.  So the Fireside Room was decorated and people kept bringing in dish after dish as they arrived with kids in tow.  

Needless to say, the attendance at the ten o'clock was considerably larger.  Though not completely packed it was full.  Their second service followed the traditional Rite II service.  Liturgically they are a very middle of the road parish in that they stick to the familiar but are willing to try new things.  Again, very reminiscent of St. John's.  Brother Thomas preached again, though he changed it up a bit which was cool, and the choir, about twenty people deep, sang a familiar anthem during the offertory.  For those of you who might know they sang With a Voice of Singing

All in all, it was a great experience and I really want to go back.  As for whether I would do my field ed there, I am still yet pondering that idea.  In many ways the church is very familiar because it is so similar to my home parish.  While I am looking for something different from what I am used to this still might be a good place to serve one of my two years of field ed.  I think that because of the priest.  From what Jason has talked with me about so far, is that Richard really wants to challenge him, push him out of his comfort zone and experience new roles in leadership.  Sometimes with field ed, it is not just the parish that you learn from but also from the priest.  I know that at some parishes seminarians are treated as lackeys or unpaid assistants which is not really beneficial to our education, but I don't get that vibe from Richard and he seemed like a great person to work with.  I will be going back again to see it on a regular Sunday and to hear Richard preach.

I am not sure where I am going next week, but I may opt for one of the Berkeley parishes.  I will keep you all updated.

Primary Sources, how I love you, let me count the ways...

As part of the History of Christianity course that I am taking a large amount of the reading materials that we will be covering comes from what is called primary sources.  These are sources or manuscripts that date back to the 1st and 2nd centuries and contain in them the works of some of the early Christians.  The benefit of reading such material is that we, as students, get the opportunity to read the actual material, though not in the original language in which it was written but a translation, that the men and women of the early Church had written.  Now, I do view this as an opportunity to wrestle with the early texts and an opportunity to gain some understanding of what the Church was like in the years that followed Christ's crucifixion, however they are not an easy read.

I am counting myself among the fortunate few who have had the opportunity to read some of this material before.  While finishing my degree in Human Services at Lesley I had to have a focus, or concentration within the field.  Most of the time people would focus on counseling, social work, or art therapy, but since I wanted to finish my degree as quickly as possible I chose a different route and not have to wait for classes to be offered, which could have taken several more semesters.  Instead of waiting I designed my own focus and designed four independent studies.  One of the courses examined how faith and politics intertwine. In another course I studied how theories of human development, and more specifically child development could help in creating youth programs.  With this I did practical applications of my study within the setting of a Confirmation Class.  While those were interesting classes, it was really the other two that I took with my parish priest, Mark, that prepared me for this course I am now taking.  In our first class we examined texts from the Apostolic period up through Augustine and how the texts gave us clues as to how the early Church was formed.  We looked at how the early Church struggled with it's identity and it struggle to find one common theology from which the whole Church could be centered around.  This course helped me prepare for being able to read these difficult texts...thank you so much Mark.

In my opinion, the hardest part about reading and understanding these texts is knowing that a majority of these texts come from incomplete manuscripts and have holes that have been filled in over time.  But keeping that in mind, and getting used to the way in which these documents were written, which was often in some convoluted way, it becomes easier to understand the purpose of the document and why it was important in the formation of the Christian tradition.

As we continue on throughout the semester we will continue to rely on primary source texts as the main way in which we will learn about the practices of early Christians.   As frustrating and time consuming as it may be, it is by far better to read the actual documents then to read commentary about the document from some third party author.

Back to civilization from the forest primeval

This afternoon I returned to civilization from our class retreat which was located at a diocesan camp, St. Dorthy's Rest, which was situated on a hillside in a forest of redwoods.  The camp is owned and operated by the Diocese of California and is used year round by many different groups, including a residential camp program during the summer months.  We were warned before we left that there was no cell phone reception and no Internet access, so we were going to be completely free from all distractions.  So we left Friday shortly after our 8:00AM History of Christianity class.  This is my earliest class of the week so I was up nice and early.  I even made it to Morning Prayer for the first time this year.  We set up a carpool and we were to meet in the parking lot at noon.  I was running a bit late and everyone was waiting for me.  So I ran upstairs quickly packed my backpack and ran out the door.  If I missed anything I would just have to live without it.

The ride up to the camp was pretty cool because we were going to be driving to a place I had never been before so I was excited to see what was out there.  We crossed over the Richmond Bridge, which is a huge bridge that spans the northern part of the bay that drops you in Marin County north of SF.  At the end of the bridge was San Quentin, one of California's many state prisons, which was cool to see.  We drove over a ridge of hills/mountains and we were then immediately surrounded by vineyards.  We were entering Napa Valley, the heart of California wine country.  We drove for about an hour and half and we arrived at the camp around 3:00, with a few stops along the way.  The road leading up to the camp was a single lane road that wound its way up the side of a huge hill.  As we ascended the hill there were many homes built into the hill and right on the road.  There was little room for error.  We were also lucky in that no one was trying to come down the hill while we were making our way up.  I pulled up to the main lodge and stepped out of my car and I was in awe.  I was surrounded by gigantic redwood trees.  I mean these things were freaking huge and unlike anything I have seen on the east coast.  They were so tall and the trucks were so straight.  I noticed that there were no low limbs but the canopy hung over us and acted like a green roof above our heads, shielding us from the sun.  All of the cabins were made of wood and in the same style.  Even the chapel was wood, which just set the tone for the whole experience.  I knew I was no longer in the concrete jungle of Berkeley but out in the middle of nowhere.

The main lodge

The sun shining through the breaks in the canopy

The chapel

A look out over one of the many ravines on the camp property

That night's program consisted of more of the same type of getting to know you type activities.  After which we had dinner, which was excellent especially for a camp, and finished it all off with Compline and "social time."  The social time reminded me of the old adage about Episcopalians, "whenever two or three Episcopalians are gathered together, there is always a fifth."  While we didn't have much liquor there was more wine then I knew what to do with.  There was no way we were going to finish all of the bottles that weekend, but we were well supplied.  The next morning we had more activities that were intended for us to discuss various topics that got us thinking about our gifts and our hopes for ministry.  I did get to know a lot more about my fellow classmates from these exercises.

For the afternoon we were given a large block of free time.  Since we were fairly close to the coast a group of us decided to head to the beach.  We asked the camp director for directions to one of the many beaches in the area and she told us about the beach that was used in the filming of the last scene of the movie The Goonies.  We just had to get there and check it out.  Jeff was excited to go because he wanted to go swimming in the ocean.  Little did he know, or I for that matter, that the beaches of northern California were not what we had imagined.  When we arrived at the beach, it was overcast, windy, and the beach was primarily comprised of small rocks instead of sand.  Despite all that Jeff decided to go swimming anyways.  He wanted me to join him, but I knew better than that.

 A view of one of the beaches, notice the fog and mist in the distance, not a good beach day

Jeff braving the cold water, with his girlfriend Jess looking on

One last view of the beaches

That evening we had to have our class meeting and elect officers for two positions, Class President and Worship Committee Rep, and appoint as many reps to ERD, Episcopal Relief and Development, as we wanted.  Instead of a straight forward election we proceeded a little differently.  We were asked to go around and tell the groups about our leadership experiences and if we were called to any of the available positions.  Half of the group had their turn before it was my turn to go and up to that point only one person had expressed their desire to be Class President so I did my spiel and said that I would serve if hat was what the community wanted.  After everyone had their turn Ann, the Dean of Students and presider of the class meeting, asked for people to offer up names of those they thought would be good for the president job and whether we consented to the nomination.  My name was called first, and I consented to the nomination.  Several other names were called out, including Jeff, and some of them accepted while others denied the nomination.  After a few rounds of questions it came down to Jeff and myself.  After some time for prayer and some words from the community I was selected by consensus to serve as the Class President.  I was humbled for being selected, but I knew then that I had finally found my place in the community.

For the last few weeks people had begun to figure out their role in the community and where they fit in, but I hadn't really found my place.  I never thought that I would be taking on this role, but given my previous leadership experiences, (thank you St. John's and Gold Standard), I am not surprised that I was selected.  I am now able to offer my gifts to the community that until now I haven't been able to show. I hope that I can serve the community to the best of my ability and leave my mark on CDSP.

First day of classes

I learned a few things about my classmates and myself during the course of today.  As the title of today's post will tell you is that today I was my first day of classes of which I had two, one this morning and one this evening.  For both of my classes there are a fair amount of first year CDSP students in taking the course with me, though most of the first year class is in my Fundamentals of Worship class, which met this morning.  Over the day I have come to reflect on a few topics that arose from my observations and interactions within each class.

In an institution of higher learning, a seminary for example, I believe that students, especially in the first few weeks of classes, seek out ways in which they can differentiate themselves from the rest of the class.  We all want to be known for our own academic merits and seek out some sort of academic order, but it seems to me that some students seek out other ways in which they can position themselves at the front of the class.  I observed this in both classes and it ties into a larger idea that has really got me thinking.

This morning we had the first meeting of our Fundamental of Worship class.  This course is intended for students to become familiar with the services found in the Book of Common Prayer and to understand the basic whys and hows of each service.  It also serves as an opportunity for new students to become familiar with the way services are done at CDSP and is an added bonus especially because as MDiv students we are expected to lead services on a regular basis.  We meet every Tuesday morning at 9:40, the timing of which is a good thing because then I am not in a rush to get up and be ready early, and we meet in the chapel.  I really like the fact that we get to meet in the chapel for this class because of the very nature of the class we need to be in the setting for which the services take place and not stuck in a classroom.  Because it is not set in a normal classroom my overall feelings for the class are that much better since we do not have to sit in yet another classroom.  A change of scenery is always nice.

The course is being co-led by the Dean of the chapel and the music director/organist for the chapel.  I like that it is being done in this way because it shows their emphasis on the role of music as a vital part of any worship service.  Having come from a very music oriented parish, it was nice to see that they too share that love of music.  As we went around introducing ourselves we were asked two questions, where did we come from liturgically and what, if any, music experience did we have.  To me these are two pretty basic questions that would give the professors and idea of what sort of experiences that we are bringing to the table.  The first person answered the questions fairly briefly and I think conveyed her experiences to us.  I went second and I told them that I came from a small suburban parish outside of Boston that was middle of the road liturgically and that there was always a willingness to try new things and changing when necessary.  For the music question, I told them that for our parish music was an integral ministry within the community and that though I was the only male singer in a choir of six we still loved to sing and the congregation has continued to support the music program.  Two simple sentences that I felt answered their questions with enough info for them to get a glimpse of where I came from.

The person next to go was a woman from Connecticut, another New Englander...we are multiplying, gave her little spiel and also mention that she is a classically trained singer and she did indeed have a beautiful voice.  She too was also short in her response.  But soon I began to notice people taking longer to offer up their information and at one point we had heard a guy's whole life story, as it pertained to liturgy and music.  It was almost torturous to hear.  What should have taken a half hour turned into an hour and a half posturing session.  It seemed as if everyone that went tried to one up the person before them.  Was that truly their intention?  Were they trying to validate their own experiences by trying to distinguish themselves from the class?  In everything we do our intentions will reveal what our hearts and minds are feeling and thinking.  Now this could all be in my head, but I am inclined to think otherwise.

This evening I had my second class which is titled, Teaching the Old Testament: An Introduction.  The title is a bit deceiving, in that the focus really isn't on the teaching aspect but more of an examination of the books of the OT and exegetical work on those texts.  The hope of the professor is that after we are done with this class we should be able to walk in an Adult Ed course and confidently be able to educate and discuss the contents of the OT.  We will also be focusing on why the books are still relevant today and how they can be preached to a congregation.  I am taking this course because it satisfies my OT requirement, it is being taught by my adviser, and because I really need a focused course on the OT which I have not been exposed to yet.



After the class I was standing outside with Jason and up walked one of the other students in the OT class with me.  She asked me if I understood some of the words and ideas that were being tossed about.  I told that I did but that I bring a very limited knowledge of the Bible with me because I have not had extensive academic study of the scriptures.  She also came from a similar background and then she walked off to her apartment.  Then it began to make more sense.  Each of us in this incoming class come here with very different experiences.  None of our stories are alike.  We come with our own strengths and weaknesses.  For me because of the nature of my home parish I sang in the choir and I regularly served during the worship service, so for me those are tangible skills that others may not have had the opportunity to experience.  On the other hand, I come to this school with a limited amount of knowledge about the Bible and I few it as one of my weaknesses.  Sure I know the stories and have had some experience in studying scripture, thanks sermon group, but I have never looked at it from this new lens of studying the style, the word choice, the context and the history, whereas for other students this is their strength.  This immediately called to mind Paul's first letter to the Corinthians and the one body, many parts in referring to the gifts we have been granted by God.  And just as the body needs many different parts with many different abilities to function, so to does the body of Christ need many parts with many different abilities in order to function.

I believe that I know myself well enough to be able to identify my own strengths and weakness.  I also believe that I can play to my strengths while also building up my weaknesses.  No one shows up to seminary with all the knowledge and experience necessary to become a priest, instead it is a process of time.  One of the main reasons for coming to CDSP was because I believed that this place would challenge me more than VTS or any other seminary would.  I knew that while the very location of the school would present it's own challenges, but I also wanted to challenge my own knowledge and experiences of what church is and how it is done.  Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it, and it has begun.  When all is said and done though, I believe that I will be prepared to embark on my own path of ministry after three years at CDSP.

Rib Coma...

I am honestly surprised that I am sitting up and able to write this post.  For the past six hours we have prepared and consumed slow roasted ribs with a homemade sauce.  It was epic.  This all stemmed from a simple question, what shall we eat tonight?  Since today is Labor Day our dinning hall was closed all day.  Normally during the weekend they operate on short hours and you are likely to miss a meal if you lose track of time.  Jason, Jay and I were in Sam's Club two days ago because Jason needed to do some shopping and I looked over to Jay and I asked, what shall we eat on Monday?  The night before we had a cookout with a fair amount of frozen hamburgers and hot dogs left over, but the people in the campus apartments took all of the extra food to their place so they wouldn't have to go shopping.  This of course left us with few options.  Jay and I looked around and I was thinking something simple like a pasta dish or something, but out of the corner of my eye I saw the rack of ribs sitting in the meat department.  I tossed out the idea and immediately our minds began to churn and knew that this was going to be a great idea.

We picked up the ribs and a gallon jug of some Texas Smokey BBQ sauce.  This would serve as the base from which we could augment to our own taste.  The ribs were packaged in such a way that we had thought that we bought two racks but little did we know that it would come back later to bite us in the butt.  I woke up this morning, having slept in for a bit, excited to get the process going and what was going to be the end product...juicy, awesome ribs!!!  Around 1:30 we cranked the oven to 375 degrees and began to prep the ribs.  Once we opened the package we realized that we didn't have two racks of ribs but three.  This was a little more than we had originally planned for but we were lucky that we bought a gallon of sauce.  After trimming some fat we rubbed in some slat, black pepper, garlic salt, and some chili powder.  This would serve as the seasoning for the pork ribs.  We threw them in the oven for about twenty five minutes to sear the outside and lock in the rub.  For the sauce we used what we bought as the base and Jason began to doctor it.  He threw in all sorts of spices and even some Chinese chili sauce.  It counteracted the vinegar taste of the base sauce and also added a kick of flavor.  We then turned down the oven and applied our first coat of sauce.  After thirty minutes at 275 degrees we pulled the ribs out and the aroma filled the room and the entire fourth floor.

The ribs after the first coat of sauce

People walking by would poke their heads in because they were intrigued by the smell wafting from the common room.  We poured more sauce on each set of ribs, which we had cut in half and had six small trays of ribs, and threw them back into the oven for another thirty minutes.  We did this every thirty minutes until the ribs had been in the oven for four an a half hours.  During the course of the four plus hours we also made pasta salad and prepped the corn we had bought at Trader Joe's to throw in the oven after the ribs were done and resting.  

We had invited several people from the floor and anyone else who was interested, so six of us sat down to dig into the feast.  It took us almost six plus hours to prep and cook but only fifteen minutes to eat.  It was absolutely epic.  Everyone was making yummy noises and their satisfaction could be seen all over their faces.  I believe that we were very successful in bringing people together in fellowship and to break bread together.  If you look at the gospels you will find many stories where Jesus had gathered people together to break bread together.  Of course the last supper is the classic example but there are other stories littered throughout the gospels.  Jesus understood the importance of coming together in community and to share a meal and I think that we can say that we too have followed in his footsteps.  this may be the first of many small community homemade dinners where we can forget about the stresses of our lives and enjoy some good food.  I wonder what we will cook next?

Grace Cathedral - San Francisco

As part of our first year experience at CDSP we have been given a specific charge.  During the course of our first semester we must visit as many Episcopal churches as we can.  This ties into what is called field education.  As part of our seminary experience we must spend one to two years in field ed, which is like an internship.  Field ed usually occurs during our second and third year, if your diocese requires two years which the Diocese of MA does require of me as a postulant for Holy Orders.  We get to choose our own field ed site but in order to choose we must first go out and see all of the different churches that there are in the Bay Area.  So, for the next few months each and every Sunday I will be heading out to a new church each week to see the community and how they conduct their ministry in the community.  This week I decided to head to the very center of the Diocese of California and attended Grace Cathedral, which is the seat of the diocesan bishop.

Jay, a fellow first year student, and I decided earlier in the week that we would head into the city to visit this church.  Several other students heard about our plan and wanted to come along, so at 9:45 we all packed into Jay's SUV and trekked across the Bay Bridge into San Francisco.  The fog was still hanging over the hills of Berkeley and as we crossed the bridge we were able to see that SF was still fogged in.  We couldn't actually see the city until we were a few yards away.  We navigated the many hills and strange one way streets and made to the cathedral's parking garage (yes they have their very own parking garage) in decent time, so much so that we were actually forty-five minutes early.  We were curious if we would encounter any traffic on I80 west into SF, but fortunately we crossed the bay early enough to avoid any traffic snarls.

This actually worked out quite well for us as it allowed us to walk around the grounds of the cathedral and move around inside without being in the way.  After we parked the car we went outside so that we could get a view of the exterior and it was absolutely amazing.  In very much the same way in with the Mormon Temple in SLC was impressive in stature so too Grace loomed large over the surrounding community.  It also helps that Grace sits atop Nob Hill, one of the many hills of SF, so that helped in the overall grandiose style of the cathedral.  When I looked at the exterior of the cathedral I was immediately brought back to the days when I was touring the medieval cathedrals of France, oh so many years ago when my brother and I traveled there as a high school graduation gift.  Now I am not an architect but it definitely looked Gothic in style.  The spire rising up from the center of the building had long gargoyles shooting out in every direction.  The front was very reminiscent of the French cathedrals in that there were two giant gold plated doors, that remain closed, at the very center of the entryway with two smaller arched entryways that are used on a regular basis.  On each side were two large bell towers, which according to one person I talked to houses forty four bells cast in England and shipped to the cathedral as a gift from a local parishioner who bemoaned the fact that the cathedral had no bells at that point.  The arches surrounding the doors were intricately carved with ornate decorations in the stone.  It was absolutely humbling to stand in front of this magnificent offering of stone and wood to the glory of God.

The bell towers, spire and front facade of the cathedral

The entryway

 

Once I passed through either of the doors I was met with something very peculiar that I had never seen inside a church, and it was a labyrinth laid on the floor.  I have seen labyrinths on church grounds before, our cathedral in Boston has one in one of the halls, but I have never seen one in the church itself.  Because we had arrived early I saw several people walking the labyrinth with their head down, solely focused on their experience and completely oblivious to what was going on around them.  they also have one outside of the church in their "plaza" area.

  The labyrinth inside the cathedral

People walking the labyrinth outside after the service

While the labyrinth was pretty cool to see I was completely blown away by the space inside.  The minute I walked into the nave a wave washed over me and I knew that I was entering a very sacred space.  The walls reached up to the sky and would have reached heaven if they had not been capped by the vaulted ceiling.  Grace Cathedral is the third largest Episcopal cathedral in the country, behind St. John the Divine in NYC and the National Cathedral in DC.  The sheer size of the inside just blew my mind.

A view of the pews leading up to the altar and the apse

While we walked around trying to soak in all that our eyes were observing, we had the opportunity for parishioners to approach us and give us little details about the cathedral.  We were completely surrounded by stained glass and as the sun began to peek through the fog the rays of light were passing through the windows and casting colorful shadows that danced along the floor.  I was told the a fair amount of the windows were Connick

One of the many windows lining the walls of the cathedral

The rose window

After viewing the many side chapels and little nooks and crannies of the building we took our seats in the pews and more people were filing in to take their seats.  At 11:00 sharp, the organ kicked in and the space was filled with sounds of Hymn 400 All Creatures of Our God and King.  I was looking over my shoulder to watch the procession come in from the back but the procession started from a door to the right of the sanctuary.  First were the torch bearers and the crucifer, followed by a verger and the first section of the choir, which was followed by another verger and the second section of the choir, then another verger led the eucharistic ministers, then another verger carrying the seal of the diocese led the priests, deacons and dean of the cathedral, then the thurifier who swung his incense around filling the space with the clouds of smoke, and finally the one last verger who led the presider of the service.  I have seen processions before but this was pretty impressive to see all of the people necessary to make the service happen on a given Sunday.  Had the bishop been in town he would have come last but we were not graced with his presence this morning, though we wondered if anyone would take his parking spot in the garage below since he wasn't in town.  After the opening hymn the presider began to chant the opening acclimation, which since coming to the west coast the chanting of the services seems to be "in" thing.  The service followed the same format that I am accustomed to, however but choral pieces that comprised much of the service music was difficult to hear and follow along with given the acoustics of the large open space.  It was a lot of the high church "smells and bells" but it was nice to experience it since it is very different from the way a lot of churches conduct their services.  What was also surprising was how quickly the priests facilitated communion.  Obviously they have it down to a science but given the large number of people in the congregation I thought it would take a while to administer communion to everyone, but they did it quickly enough in time with the choir singing an anthem.  In a little less then an hour and a half later the service was over and we were sent out into the world to continue on with our busy lives.

All in all it was a great experience, especially for me coming from a small parish.  Don't get me wrong I love the intimacy that comes with being a part of a small community because in the cathedral there were so many people but it was fun to see just how varied the worship services can be within the Episcopal Church.  I could see myself doing one year of my field ed at Grace for two reasons.  First it would be great to see how a large, dynamic, and multi-program church operates on a day to day level, again especially coming from a small church model.  Secondly, I think it would be great to work there for the many connections and relationships that could be fostered in an environment such as serving in the episcopal seat of a diocese.  I will also be visiting other large churches in the Bay Area as well as smaller and multicultural churches that can also be found in the area so I am definitely keeping my options open.  But how cool would it be to have an opportunity to preach in a place like Grace Cathedral?

The altar

One of the several side chapels within the cathedral

A view of the cathedral from down Sacramento St.

A view out from the front steps, coincidentally there were people across the street decorating the park for a wedding and after the service we saw the bride and groom cross the street to one of the hotels

Forming and Storming

I have now been on campus for a week and I have observed a few things that I wish to reflect on.  One of my first concerns about moving from Boston to Berkeley was how it was going to be living in a dorm again.  The last time I was in a dorm was at Sewanee and it was alright.  As a freshmen we were paired up with another incoming freshman based on our responses to a simple survey.  I was matched up with someone who for our first semester got along great.  Our paths began to take different directions and he really changed because of what he was learning and because of the fraternity he was hanging out with on a regular basis.  By the end of our freshman year we were both glad to be on our separate ways.  Fortunately at CDSP all of the dorm rooms are single so we get to avoid that new roommate awkwardness.

However, I will have to get used to being a part of this new residential community and that means the communal bathrooms.  It is just like freshman year in that sense and since the building we are in was built in the 1960's the bathrooms aren't the most pleasing to the eye.  I am fortunate in that I am right across the hall from the bathroom so right after a shower I can run across the hall and not have to spend too much time in there.  Now that I have filled you in on the bathroom situation I have noticed that this residence hall is rather quiet.  Now I am not sure if this indicative of a typical residence hall at a seminary or if it is a cause of the average age of the students here.  The average age of seminarians at CDSP is somewhere in the mid forties.  Over thirty percent of the students fall into the 55-65  age bracket and another thirty percent fall into 18-34 age bracket.  The last third fall into age groups in between the two and those over 65.  This of course means that two thirds of the school is considerably older than me.  This is a reflection of the current trends of people seeking ordination and the pressing need for the church on a national level to try and cultivate leaders and future priests at an earlier age.  So, I am not sure if the quietness of the dorms is attributed to the nature of the school or the nature/behaviors of the age of the student body.  In our freshman class there are three people that are roughly my age, with one woman in her mid twenties and the rest over forty.

Now, I am appreciative of the quiet nature of the dorm as it is easier to sleep then if this were a party dorm.  It will also make it easier to study and take care of homework with fewer distractions.  Jason, who is three years older than me and three doors down and is acting as my unofficial mentor, has injected a bit of life on our floor. 

Our class has spent some considerable time together, in orientation, eating meals, at worship, and just exploring the area in our free time.  We had that initial stage of forming.  We got to know each other and began to feel each other out to see what types of personalities we have.  I think that we all have become much more comfortable being together and we are starting to live into our identity as the freshmen class.  With this level of ease with each other we are now heading into the next stage of group dynamics dubbed storming.

People are letting down their guard, lowering their defenses, and we begin to see their true identity.  It is interesting to see how initial judgements about someone will either become reinforced or dispelled.  With this drop in defenses these personalities will inevitably begin to clash.  The more time that we spend with each other the more we will begin to pick up on the subtleties of each other and that will lead to conflict.  this will be put to the test next weekend.  We have a class retreat at a camp and conference center two hours north in the Redwood forests.  During this weekend one of our tasks will be to elect officers to various positions.  The one that I believe that will cause the most tension will be that of class president.  I have already observed several people that have stepped in to help when needed and take on certain responsibilities when asked.  You might call it brown nosing or you might call it leadership, it all depends on their intention.  if they are doing it so that they will be noticed for it, then to me that is selfish, but if they are doing it because it needs to be done, that is true leadership.  I know that there are a few people already eying this position.  Now I would throw my hat into the ring except for the fact that I don't think I need all the extra work that will come with it, mainly in the form of meetings with various groups.  Plus I also know that there will be other opportunities for me to lead and that there are members of my class who do not have the experiences that I have had over the years.



We will inevitably begin to butt heads and frustrate one another, but this is a phase that we must pass through so that way we can enter into the third phase of group dynamics that is called norming.  This is where we all begin find that common ground and from that common ground we will be able to work together towards common goals and support one another during the process.  Time will tell how long our forming stage will last and when we begin to enter the storming stage.  I think it will happen soon, but I do hope that the storming stage won't last long and that no one takes it personally because no one is intentionally being malicious, or at least I hope that no one is being malicious.  Time will tell.  Below are a few picks from last night.

This is the clock tower on Cal's campus, we can normally see this easily from our campus, but the infamous fog had already rolled in

This is the main library at Cal, which we have full access to, but last night a portion of the Cal marching band was putting on a performance on the steps

This is a small photo of the incoming class

Orientation

I apologize for the delay in my postings but this has been quite a week.  We are now at the end of orientation and I can honestly say that I won't remember everything that we have covered over the week.  When we arrived on campus last Saturday we were met by a few of the second year students who showed us to our rooms.  The dorm that I will be living in for the next year is a long building with meeting spaces and common areas on the first floor and residences on the next three floors.  Each floor is separated in half with women on one side and men on the other.  Fortunately we each get our own room, so none of that roommate crap that you run into when you are a freshman undergrad, but we do have a communal bathroom and shower area.  this of course means that we have to cart our shower stuff to and from each time and that you may have to run down the hall to use the bathroom.  One of the other schools I was looking at had single rooms with private baths in each, but here I am and I must make do with the situation.

My room, or as I like to call it my "cell" is conveniently located right across the hall from the bathroom so for me it is a non-issue.  I use the term cell not in the context of a prison, with bars and such, but more in the context of a monastic cell.  My room is probably 10' wide and about 20' in length.  It is the smallest of the rooms offered here and I am not surprised that I was assigned to this because as an incoming student we get last dibs on rooms, though this was assigned to me.  It is furnished with a bed, a desk, and a few bookshelves.  The closet has drawers built into it and is of decent size.  All in all it works.  I didn't bring a lot of things so I am not pressed for space, whereas some of my other fellow new students seemed to have brought all of their possessions with them and are struggling to find space.  Of course the crown jewel of my room is definitely my new flatscreen TV and my PS3.  there was no way I was going across the country with a crappy TV and no way to watch movies and play video games.

After spending three hours unpacking and setting up my room, I ran into a returning student, Jason, who is living on my floor.  It was great to spend time with someone new, because after eight days on the road with Jeff and Jess I needed some time away.  Don't get me wrong they were fun to hang out with but I think we all needed a break from each other.  Jason and I sat around and he regaled me with stories about his first year and sort of the ins and outs of the school.  We talked about which professors were great and which ones to avoid.  It was helpful to find out some of the nuances of the school from someone with experience rather then messing up and learning from experience.  I really appreciated his input and he sort of dubbed me as his" mentee," because we all have student mentors that are assigned to us before we arrive.

We had Sunday off, which was good for me because that was the first time on my trip where I actually got to sleep in.  For most of the day I sat around watching TV shows that I have on DVD and just relaxing.  I really wanted to see some of the football games that were on TV because I didn't have much of a chance to stay in the loop with all of the preseason games since I was on the road, so I wandered down to a bar not far from the campus.  The bar is called Triple Rock and they are known throughout the area for their beer and the fact that they brew most of their beer on site.  When I got there the football game was not on, much to my dismay, but they were showing this LA Angels game.  I was thinking to myself, why are we watching this, but then I realized "oh yeah I'm in California."  I hung out there for a bit, talking with people from the area and everyone was asking about where I was from and why I was wearing a Red Sox hat.  After a few hours I decided that it was time to head back and call it a night since orientation was starting the next morning.



We participated in various organized activities that helped us get to know the campus and where things were at the other seminaries on "Holy Hill," as it is dubbed by the locals of Berkeley, and got some bearing as to where we were located.  We played some of those silly icebreaker games that are supposed to help us get to know one another.  Our first day of orientation ended with Evening Prayer and we were free until the next morning.

On Tuesday we had the opportunity to learn about the library and the various services it provides.  Since my school, CDSP, is part of a larger consortium of seminaries called the Graduate Theological Union, we have one of the best theological libraries in the country.  They believe it is in the top five and I am inclined to believe them.  In the GTU consortium there are eight other seminaries from many different branches of mainstream Christianity.  For example there is an American Baptist, a Lutheran, an Episcopal, a Dominican, a Franciscan, a Jesuit, and two multi-religious seminaries all situated on this one hill and all within walking distance of each other.  This is an amazing setup because it allows all of the students to take classes at each of the seminaries and it also means that the library houses texts from each of the schools, making it a very valuable resource.  Directly across the street from us is the Cal campus and we also have access to their library, classes, and athletic facility.  So by coming to CDSP I really have nine different seminaries and one major university at my disposal...not too bad.

By Wednesday I was ready for orientation to end.  It wasn't like they had scheduled us with back to back sessions with no free time, because they didn't but it was becoming clear to me and my fellow classmates that we were done with this and ready to begin classes.  I was able to meet with my adviser, who happens to be the former dean and president of CDSP who resigned two years ago so that he could focus on teaching.  After our conversation and mapping out my course of study I registered for my courses and I have a full slate for this first semester.  I will be taking Intro to the Old Testament, Anglicanism, Church History Part I, Greek and the Fundamentals of Worship.  The Anglican course is required for this semester for each incoming student.  Each semester over the three year program they require one specific course so the whole class ends up taking the course together.  We are also required to take a biblical language for our degree so I picked Greek over Hebrew.  While I am interested in Hebrew I think I will be better off taking the Greek.  This will also allow me to read the books of the New Testament in their original language and allow me to read the works of the early church fathers who were forced to define and shape Christianity as we know it today.  I have been fascinated with the early church father or Patristics, as they are called in the formal sense, and I hope to study more about them and read their works as I progress through the program.  Wednesday ended with a cookout for all of the incoming students from all of the seminaries.  I knew I was in California because they not only had the typical fare for us "meateaters" but they had veggie burgers and dogs and even a vegan option for those who love animals and refuse to eat them.  Look I love animals too, but I also like to eat them.  If you can put both pig and cow on the same bun then that is even better, but people will become very offended if every option is not available.  Hippies.

Today we had two sessions that were both long but also necessary.  Our morning session was about "self care" and how it is an integral part of not only our seminary experience but also in our ministry.  The danger in any "helping profession" is burnout and how do we recharge ourselves so that way we can give of ourselves to others.  The school has seen many students come here and become so involved in their work and activities that they become rundown and eventually leave the school.  I believe that I am self-aware enough to recognize when I need a break and I hope that I act upon it and not dismiss it.  The second session was about the chapel and everything that we will be doing for the many services held each day.  As an MDiv student we are expected to help out and serve during the services throughout our time here.  While we are not required to attend chapel every day I believe that it is important to establish a rhythm that will help to support my spiritual side and form solid spiritual practices that will serve me later in my vocation. 

I am glad that we are now done with orientation, we do have tomorrow and the rest of the weekend off, because I am not sure how much more I could take.  I am excited for classes to begin and to get into a regular schedule of worship, class, and studying.  This won't be easy, which is good because were it to be easy then I am afraid I would just coast through this program and not be challenged, but I think I am in the best place where I will succeed.  In tomorrow's post I will look a little more closely at the dynamics of our group and I hope to be more faithful to posting as often as I can.