Sabbath, again there is no question to reflect upon, but yesterday turned out to be a pretty awesome and restful day, even though I was busy doing work. I woke up early becasue one of my good friends and mentor was keeping me updated on the election of the new diocesan bishop back home. Even though I was three thousand miles away our conversation help me feel as if I was there, not to mention it was a good conversation as always. I saw two college lacrosse games on TV...always a god time. I did some work on my weekly class assignment, as well as two other kind of major projects due this week in two other classes. I am still nervous about these two, and one more so in particular, but I keep giving up that anxiety to God through prayer. I also watched some shows on Netflix and of course spent time with my love. All in all, it was a good day. Thank you God.
Lord, thank you for everything. That is all. Amen.
Saturday, April 5, 2014
Friday, April 4, 2014
Love Life: Lonliness (Day 31)
When you feel lonely, how can you turn to God for help?
Fortunately or perhaps unfortunately, this one is easier for me. In his reflection on this question Bishop Tom comments that everyone feels this way and when he was younger he would try to fill that void, but he found that this approach did not work. His approach now is to honestly tell God what we are experiencing through prayer, be honest in what we ask for, and be open to how God responds to our prayers, even when it is not how we thought or wanted it to happen. I offer his thoughts because my experiences are similar. I too have felt loneliness, and perhaps more than my fair share, and certainly more than I would have liked. I too tried to fill that void, which did not help at all. Instead it was destructive and unhealthy. But, I found that when I was honest in my prayers to God, honest in my pleas, in my prayers for help, in my tears, that made me feel better more than anything else. I too also realized that God did not answer my prayers in the ways that I wanted, but as I look back I can see clearly God's hand at work in my life. Even though I have my ups and downs, loneliness no longer has the last word...love does.
Lord, help me to be open to realizing the people that surround me with love; help me to see that I am not alone, even when I am alone. Amen.
Fortunately or perhaps unfortunately, this one is easier for me. In his reflection on this question Bishop Tom comments that everyone feels this way and when he was younger he would try to fill that void, but he found that this approach did not work. His approach now is to honestly tell God what we are experiencing through prayer, be honest in what we ask for, and be open to how God responds to our prayers, even when it is not how we thought or wanted it to happen. I offer his thoughts because my experiences are similar. I too have felt loneliness, and perhaps more than my fair share, and certainly more than I would have liked. I too tried to fill that void, which did not help at all. Instead it was destructive and unhealthy. But, I found that when I was honest in my prayers to God, honest in my pleas, in my prayers for help, in my tears, that made me feel better more than anything else. I too also realized that God did not answer my prayers in the ways that I wanted, but as I look back I can see clearly God's hand at work in my life. Even though I have my ups and downs, loneliness no longer has the last word...love does.
Lord, help me to be open to realizing the people that surround me with love; help me to see that I am not alone, even when I am alone. Amen.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Love Life: Forgive (Day 30)
What breaks you out of your patterns of dislike?
When I think about my dislikes they tend to come from two places, previous experiences and judgements made prior to experience. While I would like to think that I approach new situations or people with an open heart and mind I know that this is not always the case. What I have realized is that to break out of those patterns of dislike require experience and willingness to be open to those experiences. For example, when I have a bad experience trying something new I have to remind myself that this might be a one time occurrence and that I must give it another chance before making up my mind. This requires that I put that singular bad experience behind and be open to new possibilities. Another example would be when I come across a new person, whom I have personally never met, but assume that by their appearance or by their words or by their actions I know I will not like them. However I must be open to give that person the benefit of the doubt, that perhaps this person will be different than the others. And more often than not that person surprises me and breaks the mold I put them in. Ultimately to break out of my patterns of dislikes requires an open heart and an open mind.
Lord, help to be more open in both my heart and my mind so that I can give new people and new experiences the benefit of the doubt they deserve; help me so that I do not judge before I have had time to reflect upon those experiences. Amen.
When I think about my dislikes they tend to come from two places, previous experiences and judgements made prior to experience. While I would like to think that I approach new situations or people with an open heart and mind I know that this is not always the case. What I have realized is that to break out of those patterns of dislike require experience and willingness to be open to those experiences. For example, when I have a bad experience trying something new I have to remind myself that this might be a one time occurrence and that I must give it another chance before making up my mind. This requires that I put that singular bad experience behind and be open to new possibilities. Another example would be when I come across a new person, whom I have personally never met, but assume that by their appearance or by their words or by their actions I know I will not like them. However I must be open to give that person the benefit of the doubt, that perhaps this person will be different than the others. And more often than not that person surprises me and breaks the mold I put them in. Ultimately to break out of my patterns of dislikes requires an open heart and an open mind.
Lord, help to be more open in both my heart and my mind so that I can give new people and new experiences the benefit of the doubt they deserve; help me so that I do not judge before I have had time to reflect upon those experiences. Amen.
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Love Life: Sin (Day 29)
Make a list of your sinful and graceful actions today. Which side is longer?
It only took 29 days, but I am stumped on this one. As I reflect upon my day I am struggling to find moments of both sin and grace. I have been active today, going to class and being at my field education parish, but even in those interactions I see few elements of sin or grace. It is as if these have become routine actions. Have broken some rules today? Sure I drove over the speed limit, checked my phone while I was in the car, and even took a short nap when I should have been working. But are these sins? Was I in these moments focused on my own will as opposed to God's will? I don't think so. Am I a sinner? Yes, I am not blameless in my actions. Am I a sinner today? I do not think so and maybe it is because I have my own blinders and fail to see what others see. I don't know. Perhaps the challenge for me for the rest of Lent is to take this moral inventory each day and see what happens. I like to think that my grace list would be longer, but only time will tell.
Lord, help me to see more clearly the moments of sin and grace in my life; help to recognize them and when needed ask for forgiveness and reconciliation. Amen.
It only took 29 days, but I am stumped on this one. As I reflect upon my day I am struggling to find moments of both sin and grace. I have been active today, going to class and being at my field education parish, but even in those interactions I see few elements of sin or grace. It is as if these have become routine actions. Have broken some rules today? Sure I drove over the speed limit, checked my phone while I was in the car, and even took a short nap when I should have been working. But are these sins? Was I in these moments focused on my own will as opposed to God's will? I don't think so. Am I a sinner? Yes, I am not blameless in my actions. Am I a sinner today? I do not think so and maybe it is because I have my own blinders and fail to see what others see. I don't know. Perhaps the challenge for me for the rest of Lent is to take this moral inventory each day and see what happens. I like to think that my grace list would be longer, but only time will tell.
Lord, help me to see more clearly the moments of sin and grace in my life; help to recognize them and when needed ask for forgiveness and reconciliation. Amen.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Love Life: Service (Day 28)
Can you be content with what you have to give?
Absolutely! I think that I have a unique set of gifts to offer. These gifts are mine and mine alone. Sure others may have similar gifts, but they are not identical. Of course I want to be able to offer more, but I realize that I can only give what is mine. I do not have a lot of money and right now my time is very structured, all because I am still in school, but that means I have to find others ways to give of myself. I am happy with that because I know that as I grow and change, so too will my ability to give of myself to others. I may only be able to give a little right now, but I know that it will not be that way forever.
Lord, thank you for the gifts that you have bestowed upon me, the gifts that you have given me to share with others, help me to be content with what I have to offer and know that as I grow so too will my ability to give of myself to others. Amen.
Absolutely! I think that I have a unique set of gifts to offer. These gifts are mine and mine alone. Sure others may have similar gifts, but they are not identical. Of course I want to be able to offer more, but I realize that I can only give what is mine. I do not have a lot of money and right now my time is very structured, all because I am still in school, but that means I have to find others ways to give of myself. I am happy with that because I know that as I grow and change, so too will my ability to give of myself to others. I may only be able to give a little right now, but I know that it will not be that way forever.
Lord, thank you for the gifts that you have bestowed upon me, the gifts that you have given me to share with others, help me to be content with what I have to offer and know that as I grow so too will my ability to give of myself to others. Amen.
Monday, March 31, 2014
Love Life: Listen (Day 27)
Can you love as a witness? Can you be a listener rather than a savior?
I think that fixing things is one of the most natural desires of someone who is called to ministry. It seems to me that most of us have a caring heart and are often called upon to fix things, to mend broken relationships, to help sift through the rubble of a shattered life. As I learned in CPE it is not our job to fix. God fixes. It is our job to listen, to be a non-anxious presence so that the person in crisis can reflect upon their situation and discern their own way forward. Sure we are there to help facilitate that reflection, to dig deeply into the thoughts and feelings so that person has a clearer picture, but we cannot fix. We have no control over the other person's actions. I have found from my own experience that when I try to fix somehting I become frustrated becasue that person does not do what I would do. That's the thing, I have to tell myself that I am not here to fix, God does that, but I can listen and help facilitate reflection.
Lord, help to listen more deeply, help me to guide those in need through careful reflection so that they may discern your will in the life; I know that I do not have the power to fix or heal, that comes from you alone. Amen.
I think that fixing things is one of the most natural desires of someone who is called to ministry. It seems to me that most of us have a caring heart and are often called upon to fix things, to mend broken relationships, to help sift through the rubble of a shattered life. As I learned in CPE it is not our job to fix. God fixes. It is our job to listen, to be a non-anxious presence so that the person in crisis can reflect upon their situation and discern their own way forward. Sure we are there to help facilitate that reflection, to dig deeply into the thoughts and feelings so that person has a clearer picture, but we cannot fix. We have no control over the other person's actions. I have found from my own experience that when I try to fix somehting I become frustrated becasue that person does not do what I would do. That's the thing, I have to tell myself that I am not here to fix, God does that, but I can listen and help facilitate reflection.
Lord, help to listen more deeply, help me to guide those in need through careful reflection so that they may discern your will in the life; I know that I do not have the power to fix or heal, that comes from you alone. Amen.
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Love Life: Collaboration (Day 26)
Are you being called to collaborate with others or with God to be more fully alive?
I don't think we really have a choice, do we? We cannot do this on our. We certainly need the grace and love of God, salvation cannot be achieved by our own works. So for me, I am always collaborating with God, seeing God's presence in all I do and in everyone I interact with. I also think that we must collaborate with each other. Jesus sent out the disciples in pairs, they were never sent alone, and I think that is because of how much we need the support of others when in engaged in the work of God. I have tried to go it alone, but I always fail. I know from my own experiences that when I am working with others, serving with others, and just being around others in general I am more alive.
Lord, you know that I need time to myself, to recharge and collect my thoughts; help me to seek out others, to spend more time in the company of friends and strangers, because I cannot grow if I am alone. Amen.
I don't think we really have a choice, do we? We cannot do this on our. We certainly need the grace and love of God, salvation cannot be achieved by our own works. So for me, I am always collaborating with God, seeing God's presence in all I do and in everyone I interact with. I also think that we must collaborate with each other. Jesus sent out the disciples in pairs, they were never sent alone, and I think that is because of how much we need the support of others when in engaged in the work of God. I have tried to go it alone, but I always fail. I know from my own experiences that when I am working with others, serving with others, and just being around others in general I am more alive.
Lord, you know that I need time to myself, to recharge and collect my thoughts; help me to seek out others, to spend more time in the company of friends and strangers, because I cannot grow if I am alone. Amen.
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