Love Life: Listen (Day 27)

Can you love as a witness? Can you be a listener rather than a savior?

I think that fixing things is one of the most natural desires of someone who is called to ministry.  It seems to me that most of us have a caring heart and are often called upon to fix things, to mend broken relationships, to help sift through the rubble of a shattered life.  As I learned in CPE it is not our job to fix.  God fixes.  It is our job to listen, to be a non-anxious presence so that the person in crisis can reflect upon their situation and discern their own way forward.  Sure we are there to help facilitate that reflection, to dig deeply into the thoughts and feelings so that person has a clearer picture, but we cannot fix.  We have no control over the other person's actions.  I have found from my own experience that when I try to fix somehting I become frustrated becasue that person does not do what I would do.  That's the thing, I have to tell myself that I am not here to fix, God does that, but I can listen and help facilitate reflection.

Lord, help to listen more deeply, help me to guide those in need through careful reflection so that they may discern your will in the life; I know that I do not have the power to fix or heal, that comes from you alone.  Amen.

Love Life: Collaboration (Day 26)

Are you being called to collaborate with others or with God to be more fully alive?

I don't think we really have a choice, do we?  We cannot do this on our.  We certainly need the grace and love of God, salvation cannot be achieved by our own works.  So for me, I am always collaborating with God, seeing God's presence in all I do and in everyone I interact with.  I also think that we must collaborate with each other.  Jesus sent out the disciples in pairs, they were never sent alone, and I think that is because of how much we need the support of others when in engaged in the work of God.  I have tried to go it alone, but I always fail.  I know from my own experiences that when I am working with others, serving with others, and just being around others in general I am more alive.

Lord, you know that I need time to myself, to recharge and collect my thoughts; help me to seek out others, to spend more time in the company of friends and strangers, because I cannot grow if I am alone.  Amen.

Love Life: Sabbath (Day 25)

Sabbath, today was not entirely restful but I used my time to do something different. I accompanied a small group of youth to do a service project as part of their Confirmation class.  Lauren needed another adult and I said sure. I was a little skeptical at first about this project, however it turned out to be a great time. Not only was it was fun, but it was also for a good organization that appears to really be making a difference in the fight against hunger. Today was a good day.

Lord, thank for today and all that it had to offer, help to enjoy each day as fully as possible.  Amen.

Love Life: Name (Day 24)

Pray your name today. What do you hear?

When I sat in silence and prayed my name I heard all the voices that have said my name.  Some of them were loving, like when I was really young the parishioner at my home parish would call me Robbie, or my mother lovingly saying Roo after the Winnie the Pooh character because he was my favorite and because I used to bounce around, or the soft Rob I hear from my love.  Some of them were said crossly, like when I was in trouble and my mother would use Robert.  Of course Robert is also used by strangers who are meeting me for the first time.  What else came to mind were words that describe my relationship with others like brother or friend.  What struck me was the myriad of ways that people know me and each way is different.  As I continue to walk on my journey I will take on new names like Rev. Rob or God willing, dad.  The name we have is given to us without choice, and for the most part goes unchanged, however it is up to us to give that name meaning.

Lord help me to continue to let your love shine forth through me and when people hear my name they will know me by my love of others.  Amen.

Love Life: Change (Day 23)

How is God inviting you to change?

I think that the change that is perhaps most necessary in my life right now is around my habits, specifically those that negatively impact my health and well-being.  I have been trying to quite smoking, which has not been overly successful, because I know that if I want to enjoy a long life with my love and family then this must change.  It was a poor response to dealing with stress, and while I can say I am not a heavy smoker that is no consolation or justification for my behavior.  I know that I cannot do this on my own. I need God's help and the help of others to change.  I also need to change my relationship with food.  It is clear that I need to make better choices and exercise more regularly.  I always seem to have an excuse or put it off one more day, but I have seen what happens when unhealthy eating habits take control.  I have seen how it impacts not only myself, but also others around me.  Again, if I want to live a longer life with my love and family then something has to change.  I cannot wait until it is too late. Dostoevsky once wrote that so much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid, and I would add things left undone.  These changes, changes that I know must occur from deep in my heart, are needed and though I may feel alone or unable to change God is with me, ready to go deeper, ready to go further.

Lord, give me the strength to make better choices regarding my health and my habits, help me to see that I am not alone and that you are with me, walking along side me, always supporting me and always loving me.  Amen.

Love Life: Life (Day 22)

What’s got you half-dead?

Fear...fear is what keeps me from being fully alive.  Fear of failure.  Fear of rejection.  Fear of being hurt.  Fear of hurting others.  Fear of disappointing others.  Fear of disappointing myself.  Fear that I am not good enough.  It is fear that prevents me from being fully alive.  If Jesus is calling me to full life then I must learn to let go of those fears, to offer them up to God, and take that step forward, even if it is into the unknown.  I must learn to be the Rob that God created me to be.  By living more fully into the core of who I am, then I am glorifying God that much more by being who God created me to be.

Lord, help me to let go, help me to give up my fears, offer them to you, so that I may be more fully alive, more fully aware of the person you created me to be.  Amen.

Love Life: Purpose (Day 21)

How can you uniquely reflect the love of God today?

This is a challenging question because I have mentioned before how we are to reflect the love and light of God into the world around us.  While we do this in many ways the question is, how do I do this uniquely?  What can I do that somebody else can't do?  What can I do the reflects the love of God but also have a hint of my unique personality?  Perhaps the best way I can uniquely reflect God's love is through the silly side of me that does not always come out.  This afternoon I had the pleasure of walking around Boston with Lauren and Alec, and when we came upon the Make Way for Ducklings statues in the Boston Public Garden we proceeded to take silly pictures.  It is in those silly moments when I let down my guard, open myself up, and let my inner silliness shine forth.  It is in those moments I can see the silly side of God, the playful side that we sometimes forget about.  What makes it even better is being able to share it with two people whom I love.  Being silly is how I am unique and I need to work on allowing that silliness to come forth more often.

Lord, help me to let go, to not take everything so seriously, to allow my playful and silly side shine forth for those around me and not just those whom I am comfortable around, so that I can not only be the person you created but also to let others see your playful and silly side.  Amen.