What does God especially cherish about you?
I believe that God
cherishes my individuality, my uniqueness. Yes, I do possess character
traits from my parents and my appearance due to my genetic make-up, but
I have also been formed by my experiences. Not only have these
experience helped me to be the unique image of God but people have also
helped form me. From my family and friends, to mentors and teachers,
and of course even strangers have all contributed. I think that God
values my individuality and cherishes the variety of human expression
that exists within each of us. Thank you to all who have walked with me
along the way.
Lord, thank you for all of those that surround me, support me, and love me; continue to give me the strength and courage to reflect their love back to them, to reflect the love of God, and help me to let me individuality shine forth. Amen.
Friday, March 14, 2014
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Love Life: Remember (Day 9)
Where was God for you today?
Today I received some excellent news. The news pertained to the final hurdle that lay in the way towards the realization of my call of ordained ministry. As I reflect back upon the path that has led me to this point there were high points and low points, but throughout the journey God was with me. Today I see God in the culmination of a this journey. Today I see God in the opportunities that now await me on the next leg of the journey. Today I see God in the joy that I am feeling.
For the past few months every communication that I received from the diocese has been assuming that I was approved for ordination. I had a date. The Canon for Ordained Vocations was allowing me to look for jobs outside of the diocese, so from her I got the impression that everything was on track. But today's news made it real. Now that the Standing Committee has approved me for ordination, the final hurdle has been crossed. The next few months will be a whirl wind of events, some of them very life-changing. One part of my journey is nearly complete and for that I am thankful, thankful to God, to my family, to my mentors, to my friends, all, each and everyone of whom has formed me into who I am today. But with this leg of the journey coming to an end I will be embarking along the next leg of the journey. There are so many opportunities that await me.
Lord, continue to walk with me along the way, you have been with me and never left my side, I ask that as I head into the next phase of my life that you continue to give me strength and love. Amen.
Today I received some excellent news. The news pertained to the final hurdle that lay in the way towards the realization of my call of ordained ministry. As I reflect back upon the path that has led me to this point there were high points and low points, but throughout the journey God was with me. Today I see God in the culmination of a this journey. Today I see God in the opportunities that now await me on the next leg of the journey. Today I see God in the joy that I am feeling.
For the past few months every communication that I received from the diocese has been assuming that I was approved for ordination. I had a date. The Canon for Ordained Vocations was allowing me to look for jobs outside of the diocese, so from her I got the impression that everything was on track. But today's news made it real. Now that the Standing Committee has approved me for ordination, the final hurdle has been crossed. The next few months will be a whirl wind of events, some of them very life-changing. One part of my journey is nearly complete and for that I am thankful, thankful to God, to my family, to my mentors, to my friends, all, each and everyone of whom has formed me into who I am today. But with this leg of the journey coming to an end I will be embarking along the next leg of the journey. There are so many opportunities that await me.
Lord, continue to walk with me along the way, you have been with me and never left my side, I ask that as I head into the next phase of my life that you continue to give me strength and love. Amen.
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Love Life: Acceptance (Day 8)
What is my reminder that I am loved?
I am reminded that I am loved everyday during the hours long FaceTime calls with my beautiful fiance Lauren. It is difficult sometimes to find the time or synch up our schedules, but for the last two years we have set aside time each and every day to see and talk with each other. I know I am loved because someone else out there wants to spend that kind of time with me. That is a pretty awesome thought and feeling.
Lord, sustain me during my time away from Lauren, strengthen me during our time apart so that when the day comes when we will no longer have to say good-bye we will rejoice and give thanks to you, from whom all blessings flow. Amen.
I am reminded that I am loved everyday during the hours long FaceTime calls with my beautiful fiance Lauren. It is difficult sometimes to find the time or synch up our schedules, but for the last two years we have set aside time each and every day to see and talk with each other. I know I am loved because someone else out there wants to spend that kind of time with me. That is a pretty awesome thought and feeling.
Lord, sustain me during my time away from Lauren, strengthen me during our time apart so that when the day comes when we will no longer have to say good-bye we will rejoice and give thanks to you, from whom all blessings flow. Amen.
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Love Life: Relationship (Day 7)
How could you be playful in showing love to others today?
I never thought of Jesus as being playful in the Gospel of John, but that is the picture painted by one of the brothers in today's video. John's gospel does take on a very different tone than the other synoptic gospels, so there is no reason why Jesus could not be seen as playful. I think that for me what this calls to mind is to not take myself so seriously, to allow that playfulness to come out. I do have a playful side and it comes out in certain situations, but can I let that out more often? Can I let go of the serious in order to let the fun in? I think that I do a pretty good job at carefully balancing the two but perhaps I could do better at showing it to others.
Lord, help me to let my playfulness shine forth, allow me to let go for a bit to embrace the fun, so that I may be a better reflection of your love and light. Amen.
I never thought of Jesus as being playful in the Gospel of John, but that is the picture painted by one of the brothers in today's video. John's gospel does take on a very different tone than the other synoptic gospels, so there is no reason why Jesus could not be seen as playful. I think that for me what this calls to mind is to not take myself so seriously, to allow that playfulness to come out. I do have a playful side and it comes out in certain situations, but can I let that out more often? Can I let go of the serious in order to let the fun in? I think that I do a pretty good job at carefully balancing the two but perhaps I could do better at showing it to others.
Lord, help me to let my playfulness shine forth, allow me to let go for a bit to embrace the fun, so that I may be a better reflection of your love and light. Amen.
Monday, March 10, 2014
Love Life: Love (Day 6)
What do you understand about who God is?
God is love. Simply put, but yet God is infinitely more complicated than that. I have come to know God in the love that has been given to me by others and by the love that I give to others. We are made in the image of God so the love we share with each other is but a glimpse of the love that God has for us, for me. We can never fully comprehend the magnitude of God's love for us because frankly we lack the language that could communicate and understand that love. However, I know it because I feel it and I can see it in the physical world around, in the relationships I share.
This is a easy, yet complex question. We come to know God through God's self-revelation to us through Jesus Christ. This self-revelation has and continues to be given to us in many other ways, through prophetic witness, radical hospitality, and prayer. These were embodied by Jesus and was central to his life and teachings. They have also been embodied by other people throughout human history. God clearly desires a relationship with us and not just as an acquaintance, but an intimate and genuine relationship. While we can get a mere glimpse at who God is through these experiences we will never know the entirety of who God is. That is both daunting and comforting. It is daunting because of the sheer enormity of who God is, yet it is comforting because this also means that anything is possible in God and through God.
Lord, help me to continue to keep my gaze upon you, striving to see your presence in the world around me. Amen.
God is love. Simply put, but yet God is infinitely more complicated than that. I have come to know God in the love that has been given to me by others and by the love that I give to others. We are made in the image of God so the love we share with each other is but a glimpse of the love that God has for us, for me. We can never fully comprehend the magnitude of God's love for us because frankly we lack the language that could communicate and understand that love. However, I know it because I feel it and I can see it in the physical world around, in the relationships I share.
This is a easy, yet complex question. We come to know God through God's self-revelation to us through Jesus Christ. This self-revelation has and continues to be given to us in many other ways, through prophetic witness, radical hospitality, and prayer. These were embodied by Jesus and was central to his life and teachings. They have also been embodied by other people throughout human history. God clearly desires a relationship with us and not just as an acquaintance, but an intimate and genuine relationship. While we can get a mere glimpse at who God is through these experiences we will never know the entirety of who God is. That is both daunting and comforting. It is daunting because of the sheer enormity of who God is, yet it is comforting because this also means that anything is possible in God and through God.
Lord, help me to continue to keep my gaze upon you, striving to see your presence in the world around me. Amen.
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Love Life: Revelation (Day 5)
Can you allow yourself to be vulnerable and be embraced?
This is perhaps one of the most difficult things for me to do. I express my vulnerability in degrees, the closer someone is to my inner circle the more vulnerable I will be with them. This is helpful in some situations where remaining calm and unaffected is a positive and necessary character trait. However, it can be unhelpful in pastoral situations where it could be perceived as distant and uncaring. The challenge for the week, not only through these reflections but also through action, is to be more willing to take that risk.
My CPE group detested me because I always appeared cool and calm, especially in emotionally and spiritually intense situations. Now of course I experienced feelings of anxiety, fear, sadness, and lack of self-confidence during my time in the hospital as a chaplain intern. However, I never showed it to my peer group or at least they never saw it in our interactions. One the one hand I do think that this is a very important leadership trait because it inspires confidence and trust in the person who can handle intense situations calmly, carefully, and thoughtfully. How and why I developed my skill at managing my emotions is a post for another day, but nevertheless my calm demeanor was envied by my CPE group. One realization that did come about from our conversations was that some people might view that as a negative in a pastoral situate. On this point I agree, and my qualm with their statements was that they were not in the rooms with me while making pastoral visits and interacting with patients and families. Of course this is coming from a biased perspective, but I believe that when I was with patients I was being open, genuine, and empathetic. I have a very deep streak of empathy running through me, so much so that when I put myself in another person's shoes I feel strong emotions. Perhaps it's just my own projection that what I feel in that situation is similar to others or perhaps I am just naturally predisposed to a certain level of empathy. Regardless, I believe that I am extremely empathetic and open in my display of emotion when I need to be.
All of this has led me to reflect on why I am not more open and vulnerable with other. I believe that it is rooted in being rejected on some level, not being embraced. Being more vulnerable means exposing oneself to others, exposing the deepest parts of our being and even exposing our brokenness. If we are to experience healing then we have to expose the brokenness. God knows my brokenness, my deepest thoughts and desires, through my prayer. It is there that I name those thoughts and feelings. It is there that I offer them up to God, seeking strength and support. It is in my prayer life that I am the most vulnerable. There are a few people, and I mean a few people, with whom I am that open with in person. I think that I need to be more willing to take that risk, to expose my wounds so that I can be healed. Clearly I have a lot to reflect on.
Lord, help me to be more vulnerable with others, to be more open to show my emotions, so that the wounds and the burdens I carry may be healed and relieved. Amen.
This is perhaps one of the most difficult things for me to do. I express my vulnerability in degrees, the closer someone is to my inner circle the more vulnerable I will be with them. This is helpful in some situations where remaining calm and unaffected is a positive and necessary character trait. However, it can be unhelpful in pastoral situations where it could be perceived as distant and uncaring. The challenge for the week, not only through these reflections but also through action, is to be more willing to take that risk.
My CPE group detested me because I always appeared cool and calm, especially in emotionally and spiritually intense situations. Now of course I experienced feelings of anxiety, fear, sadness, and lack of self-confidence during my time in the hospital as a chaplain intern. However, I never showed it to my peer group or at least they never saw it in our interactions. One the one hand I do think that this is a very important leadership trait because it inspires confidence and trust in the person who can handle intense situations calmly, carefully, and thoughtfully. How and why I developed my skill at managing my emotions is a post for another day, but nevertheless my calm demeanor was envied by my CPE group. One realization that did come about from our conversations was that some people might view that as a negative in a pastoral situate. On this point I agree, and my qualm with their statements was that they were not in the rooms with me while making pastoral visits and interacting with patients and families. Of course this is coming from a biased perspective, but I believe that when I was with patients I was being open, genuine, and empathetic. I have a very deep streak of empathy running through me, so much so that when I put myself in another person's shoes I feel strong emotions. Perhaps it's just my own projection that what I feel in that situation is similar to others or perhaps I am just naturally predisposed to a certain level of empathy. Regardless, I believe that I am extremely empathetic and open in my display of emotion when I need to be.
All of this has led me to reflect on why I am not more open and vulnerable with other. I believe that it is rooted in being rejected on some level, not being embraced. Being more vulnerable means exposing oneself to others, exposing the deepest parts of our being and even exposing our brokenness. If we are to experience healing then we have to expose the brokenness. God knows my brokenness, my deepest thoughts and desires, through my prayer. It is there that I name those thoughts and feelings. It is there that I offer them up to God, seeking strength and support. It is in my prayer life that I am the most vulnerable. There are a few people, and I mean a few people, with whom I am that open with in person. I think that I need to be more willing to take that risk, to expose my wounds so that I can be healed. Clearly I have a lot to reflect on.
Lord, help me to be more vulnerable with others, to be more open to show my emotions, so that the wounds and the burdens I carry may be healed and relieved. Amen.
Saturday, March 8, 2014
Love Life: Sabbath (Day 4)
No question or reflection today. Resting in the silence. Call it channeling my inner Elijah, listening for the small voice in the silence.
Lord, put my mind and my heart at ease, push away the cares of today so that I can hear your voice in the quiet moments of this restful day. Amen.
Lord, put my mind and my heart at ease, push away the cares of today so that I can hear your voice in the quiet moments of this restful day. Amen.
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