Not
question because it was Saturday, so Sabbath again...and yesterday was
restful, didn't have to do much work just a little reading, and the
highlight was hanging with the future in-laws for a baby shower, so it
was a good day.
Lord, thank you for today because it was a great day. Amen.
Saturday, April 12, 2014
Friday, April 11, 2014
Love Life: Home (Day 38)
How have you experienced God enticing you, drawing you, calling you?
"You did not choose me, but I chose you" (John 15:16)...God has been calling me for some time to be a part of something bigger, drawing me out to live into the fullness of God's love, and enticing me to a future filled with wonderful opportunities.
Lord, help me to hear your call more clearly, to follow you more nearly, and to live with one foot raised ready to embrace the future. Amen.
"You did not choose me, but I chose you" (John 15:16)...God has been calling me for some time to be a part of something bigger, drawing me out to live into the fullness of God's love, and enticing me to a future filled with wonderful opportunities.
Lord, help me to hear your call more clearly, to follow you more nearly, and to live with one foot raised ready to embrace the future. Amen.
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Love Life: Dignity (Day 37)
How is God's love being perfected in you?
It is a process. I am not perfect. I will never be perfect. That's ok because we are invited to this journey of discipleship and a closer relationship with God with the understanding that we will take two steps forward and take a step back. God's love can be perfected in me when I reflect this reality to others. We will stumble and that's ok. We will make mistakes and that is ok. We will wander down a path that leads us away from God and that's ok because God will not forsake us, God will forgive and embrace us if we truly recognize our missteps and attempt to get back on the right path. The path to God is not straight and not easy, but it is totally worth it.
Lord, help me to be a vessel of your love and help me to reflect your love to the world. Amen.
It is a process. I am not perfect. I will never be perfect. That's ok because we are invited to this journey of discipleship and a closer relationship with God with the understanding that we will take two steps forward and take a step back. God's love can be perfected in me when I reflect this reality to others. We will stumble and that's ok. We will make mistakes and that is ok. We will wander down a path that leads us away from God and that's ok because God will not forsake us, God will forgive and embrace us if we truly recognize our missteps and attempt to get back on the right path. The path to God is not straight and not easy, but it is totally worth it.
Lord, help me to be a vessel of your love and help me to reflect your love to the world. Amen.
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
Love Life: Obstacles (Day 36)
What obstacles are you working with?
As I reflect upon my path towards the realization of my vocation there were a number of obstacles that I had to overcome. The root obstacle was the fact that I needed an undergraduate degree in order to not only be admitted to the ordination process but also to be admitted into seminary. As I have written before I left my first university it left me in a place where I thought that my vocation would not be realized. I tried to take classes at other schools but couldn't find the right fit, partially because the schools wanted me to retake classes and partially because I was not in a place to be back in school. Before I could even address my education I had to address my internal emotional issues. Once that was under control I still realized I was not in a place to be in school again so I got a job. It was through that amazing five year experience, as well as the realization about the fragility of the time we have been given on this earth because of the loss of my father, grandfather and uncle during that time, that I decided to renew the pursuit of my vocation. I have faced several obstacles during these past three years, but nothing like those. Without the love and support of family and friends, and above all else the love and support of God I would not be here, two months from the realization of several dreams.
Lord, help me on this path of vocation, help me to know that though several milestones are approaching my vocation is doesn't end with ordination and marriage, but it is a lifetime of work and prayer. Amen.
As I reflect upon my path towards the realization of my vocation there were a number of obstacles that I had to overcome. The root obstacle was the fact that I needed an undergraduate degree in order to not only be admitted to the ordination process but also to be admitted into seminary. As I have written before I left my first university it left me in a place where I thought that my vocation would not be realized. I tried to take classes at other schools but couldn't find the right fit, partially because the schools wanted me to retake classes and partially because I was not in a place to be back in school. Before I could even address my education I had to address my internal emotional issues. Once that was under control I still realized I was not in a place to be in school again so I got a job. It was through that amazing five year experience, as well as the realization about the fragility of the time we have been given on this earth because of the loss of my father, grandfather and uncle during that time, that I decided to renew the pursuit of my vocation. I have faced several obstacles during these past three years, but nothing like those. Without the love and support of family and friends, and above all else the love and support of God I would not be here, two months from the realization of several dreams.
Lord, help me on this path of vocation, help me to know that though several milestones are approaching my vocation is doesn't end with ordination and marriage, but it is a lifetime of work and prayer. Amen.
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Love Life: Offering (Day 35)
Who has shown you what it means to be a person of love?
I think that I have been formed by many different people all of whom have shown me what it means to be a person a love. First and foremost are my parents. They are and always will be an example of self-sacrificing love for others. Everything they did and continue to do was for me and my brothers. They have always put our needs and wants first and for that I am forever thankful. Then there is the chaplain who worked with me at summer camp for three years. He taught me how to love myself again after a long dark period of my life. Then there are my brothers, both my blood brothers and my good friends whom I consider my brothers. They taught me how to be there and support each other through the good times and the bad. Most of all the love of my life taught me that I am worth loving in an unconditional way. These are but a few examples of how I have been formed as a person of love. Thank you to all who continue to show me love.
Lord, thank you for all of those who have shown me love; help me to see that love and reflect that love to others. Amen.
I think that I have been formed by many different people all of whom have shown me what it means to be a person a love. First and foremost are my parents. They are and always will be an example of self-sacrificing love for others. Everything they did and continue to do was for me and my brothers. They have always put our needs and wants first and for that I am forever thankful. Then there is the chaplain who worked with me at summer camp for three years. He taught me how to love myself again after a long dark period of my life. Then there are my brothers, both my blood brothers and my good friends whom I consider my brothers. They taught me how to be there and support each other through the good times and the bad. Most of all the love of my life taught me that I am worth loving in an unconditional way. These are but a few examples of how I have been formed as a person of love. Thank you to all who continue to show me love.
Lord, thank you for all of those who have shown me love; help me to see that love and reflect that love to others. Amen.
Monday, April 7, 2014
Love Life: Belonging (Day 34)
How would you describe your vocation? (Today)
My vocation today has been one of seminary student. Today has been busy. I had a good class today as we continued to examine Jesus from the point of view of the poor. I spent the better part of five hours, today alone, writing a paper for my class tomorrow. The paper was great in that I learned more about another faith tradition, but it also highlighted my ignorance about some aspects of other faith traditions. I guess that is why I am in school, right? I also was part of a meeting of the student leadership of the seminary. I have also spent a few hours practicing for the service that I will be doing in class on Wednesday. Nevertheless, once these few days are over there will be a bit of rest before gearing up for the final papers of my seminary career. So, yeah, my vocation today is as a student. Tomorrow may be different. Who knows?
Lord, help to see the many sides of my vocation and how they shift and change over time so that I can live to fullness that you have called me to. Amen.
My vocation today has been one of seminary student. Today has been busy. I had a good class today as we continued to examine Jesus from the point of view of the poor. I spent the better part of five hours, today alone, writing a paper for my class tomorrow. The paper was great in that I learned more about another faith tradition, but it also highlighted my ignorance about some aspects of other faith traditions. I guess that is why I am in school, right? I also was part of a meeting of the student leadership of the seminary. I have also spent a few hours practicing for the service that I will be doing in class on Wednesday. Nevertheless, once these few days are over there will be a bit of rest before gearing up for the final papers of my seminary career. So, yeah, my vocation today is as a student. Tomorrow may be different. Who knows?
Lord, help to see the many sides of my vocation and how they shift and change over time so that I can live to fullness that you have called me to. Amen.
Sunday, April 6, 2014
Love Life: Vocation (Day 33)
Can you grow into where your heart leads you?
I absolutely think so and furthermore I believe the last four years of my life are a testament to that. When I left Sewanee after being diagnosed with clinical depression and realizing that this was no longer the place for me, I packed up and went home. I couldn't find the right school to finish my degree, which was extremely frustrating, so eventually I settled in taking a job with an auto parts company. At first it was purely because I needed money and health coverage, but it wasn't long until my personality kicked in and my leadership skills took over. I quickly found that I was good at my job and worked my way up from driver to warehouse manager. And for several years it was great. I was working with great people and working for two great owners who trusted me and challenged me. I honestly could have seen myself staying with the company, making a career out of it and being happy. But, deep in my heart I knew I was called to do something else. To me this was a career not a vocation. My vocation was and is to serve others. While I was doing this in a way, I felt that I was not really really living into the fullness of my gifts. And so for the past four years, transitioning out of that job and coming to seminary, has been filled with growth experiences, all because I continued to follow my heart.
Lord, help to remain open to your words and your will that flows from my heart; help to have courage to pursue that even when all possibilities appear exhausted. Amen.
I absolutely think so and furthermore I believe the last four years of my life are a testament to that. When I left Sewanee after being diagnosed with clinical depression and realizing that this was no longer the place for me, I packed up and went home. I couldn't find the right school to finish my degree, which was extremely frustrating, so eventually I settled in taking a job with an auto parts company. At first it was purely because I needed money and health coverage, but it wasn't long until my personality kicked in and my leadership skills took over. I quickly found that I was good at my job and worked my way up from driver to warehouse manager. And for several years it was great. I was working with great people and working for two great owners who trusted me and challenged me. I honestly could have seen myself staying with the company, making a career out of it and being happy. But, deep in my heart I knew I was called to do something else. To me this was a career not a vocation. My vocation was and is to serve others. While I was doing this in a way, I felt that I was not really really living into the fullness of my gifts. And so for the past four years, transitioning out of that job and coming to seminary, has been filled with growth experiences, all because I continued to follow my heart.
Lord, help to remain open to your words and your will that flows from my heart; help to have courage to pursue that even when all possibilities appear exhausted. Amen.
Saturday, April 5, 2014
Love Life: Sabbath (Day 32)
Sabbath, again there is no question to reflect upon, but yesterday turned out to be a pretty awesome and restful day, even though I was busy doing work. I woke up early becasue one of my good friends and mentor was keeping me updated on the election of the new diocesan bishop back home. Even though I was three thousand miles away our conversation help me feel as if I was there, not to mention it was a good conversation as always. I saw two college lacrosse games on TV...always a god time. I did some work on my weekly class assignment, as well as two other kind of major projects due this week in two other classes. I am still nervous about these two, and one more so in particular, but I keep giving up that anxiety to God through prayer. I also watched some shows on Netflix and of course spent time with my love. All in all, it was a good day. Thank you God.
Lord, thank you for everything. That is all. Amen.
Lord, thank you for everything. That is all. Amen.
Friday, April 4, 2014
Love Life: Lonliness (Day 31)
When you feel lonely, how can you turn to God for help?
Fortunately or perhaps unfortunately, this one is easier for me. In his reflection on this question Bishop Tom comments that everyone feels this way and when he was younger he would try to fill that void, but he found that this approach did not work. His approach now is to honestly tell God what we are experiencing through prayer, be honest in what we ask for, and be open to how God responds to our prayers, even when it is not how we thought or wanted it to happen. I offer his thoughts because my experiences are similar. I too have felt loneliness, and perhaps more than my fair share, and certainly more than I would have liked. I too tried to fill that void, which did not help at all. Instead it was destructive and unhealthy. But, I found that when I was honest in my prayers to God, honest in my pleas, in my prayers for help, in my tears, that made me feel better more than anything else. I too also realized that God did not answer my prayers in the ways that I wanted, but as I look back I can see clearly God's hand at work in my life. Even though I have my ups and downs, loneliness no longer has the last word...love does.
Lord, help me to be open to realizing the people that surround me with love; help me to see that I am not alone, even when I am alone. Amen.
Fortunately or perhaps unfortunately, this one is easier for me. In his reflection on this question Bishop Tom comments that everyone feels this way and when he was younger he would try to fill that void, but he found that this approach did not work. His approach now is to honestly tell God what we are experiencing through prayer, be honest in what we ask for, and be open to how God responds to our prayers, even when it is not how we thought or wanted it to happen. I offer his thoughts because my experiences are similar. I too have felt loneliness, and perhaps more than my fair share, and certainly more than I would have liked. I too tried to fill that void, which did not help at all. Instead it was destructive and unhealthy. But, I found that when I was honest in my prayers to God, honest in my pleas, in my prayers for help, in my tears, that made me feel better more than anything else. I too also realized that God did not answer my prayers in the ways that I wanted, but as I look back I can see clearly God's hand at work in my life. Even though I have my ups and downs, loneliness no longer has the last word...love does.
Lord, help me to be open to realizing the people that surround me with love; help me to see that I am not alone, even when I am alone. Amen.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Love Life: Forgive (Day 30)
What breaks you out of your patterns of dislike?
When I think about my dislikes they tend to come from two places, previous experiences and judgements made prior to experience. While I would like to think that I approach new situations or people with an open heart and mind I know that this is not always the case. What I have realized is that to break out of those patterns of dislike require experience and willingness to be open to those experiences. For example, when I have a bad experience trying something new I have to remind myself that this might be a one time occurrence and that I must give it another chance before making up my mind. This requires that I put that singular bad experience behind and be open to new possibilities. Another example would be when I come across a new person, whom I have personally never met, but assume that by their appearance or by their words or by their actions I know I will not like them. However I must be open to give that person the benefit of the doubt, that perhaps this person will be different than the others. And more often than not that person surprises me and breaks the mold I put them in. Ultimately to break out of my patterns of dislikes requires an open heart and an open mind.
Lord, help to be more open in both my heart and my mind so that I can give new people and new experiences the benefit of the doubt they deserve; help me so that I do not judge before I have had time to reflect upon those experiences. Amen.
When I think about my dislikes they tend to come from two places, previous experiences and judgements made prior to experience. While I would like to think that I approach new situations or people with an open heart and mind I know that this is not always the case. What I have realized is that to break out of those patterns of dislike require experience and willingness to be open to those experiences. For example, when I have a bad experience trying something new I have to remind myself that this might be a one time occurrence and that I must give it another chance before making up my mind. This requires that I put that singular bad experience behind and be open to new possibilities. Another example would be when I come across a new person, whom I have personally never met, but assume that by their appearance or by their words or by their actions I know I will not like them. However I must be open to give that person the benefit of the doubt, that perhaps this person will be different than the others. And more often than not that person surprises me and breaks the mold I put them in. Ultimately to break out of my patterns of dislikes requires an open heart and an open mind.
Lord, help to be more open in both my heart and my mind so that I can give new people and new experiences the benefit of the doubt they deserve; help me so that I do not judge before I have had time to reflect upon those experiences. Amen.
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Love Life: Sin (Day 29)
Make a list of your sinful and graceful actions today. Which side is longer?
It only took 29 days, but I am stumped on this one. As I reflect upon my day I am struggling to find moments of both sin and grace. I have been active today, going to class and being at my field education parish, but even in those interactions I see few elements of sin or grace. It is as if these have become routine actions. Have broken some rules today? Sure I drove over the speed limit, checked my phone while I was in the car, and even took a short nap when I should have been working. But are these sins? Was I in these moments focused on my own will as opposed to God's will? I don't think so. Am I a sinner? Yes, I am not blameless in my actions. Am I a sinner today? I do not think so and maybe it is because I have my own blinders and fail to see what others see. I don't know. Perhaps the challenge for me for the rest of Lent is to take this moral inventory each day and see what happens. I like to think that my grace list would be longer, but only time will tell.
Lord, help me to see more clearly the moments of sin and grace in my life; help to recognize them and when needed ask for forgiveness and reconciliation. Amen.
It only took 29 days, but I am stumped on this one. As I reflect upon my day I am struggling to find moments of both sin and grace. I have been active today, going to class and being at my field education parish, but even in those interactions I see few elements of sin or grace. It is as if these have become routine actions. Have broken some rules today? Sure I drove over the speed limit, checked my phone while I was in the car, and even took a short nap when I should have been working. But are these sins? Was I in these moments focused on my own will as opposed to God's will? I don't think so. Am I a sinner? Yes, I am not blameless in my actions. Am I a sinner today? I do not think so and maybe it is because I have my own blinders and fail to see what others see. I don't know. Perhaps the challenge for me for the rest of Lent is to take this moral inventory each day and see what happens. I like to think that my grace list would be longer, but only time will tell.
Lord, help me to see more clearly the moments of sin and grace in my life; help to recognize them and when needed ask for forgiveness and reconciliation. Amen.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Love Life: Service (Day 28)
Can you be content with what you have to give?
Absolutely! I think that I have a unique set of gifts to offer. These gifts are mine and mine alone. Sure others may have similar gifts, but they are not identical. Of course I want to be able to offer more, but I realize that I can only give what is mine. I do not have a lot of money and right now my time is very structured, all because I am still in school, but that means I have to find others ways to give of myself. I am happy with that because I know that as I grow and change, so too will my ability to give of myself to others. I may only be able to give a little right now, but I know that it will not be that way forever.
Lord, thank you for the gifts that you have bestowed upon me, the gifts that you have given me to share with others, help me to be content with what I have to offer and know that as I grow so too will my ability to give of myself to others. Amen.
Absolutely! I think that I have a unique set of gifts to offer. These gifts are mine and mine alone. Sure others may have similar gifts, but they are not identical. Of course I want to be able to offer more, but I realize that I can only give what is mine. I do not have a lot of money and right now my time is very structured, all because I am still in school, but that means I have to find others ways to give of myself. I am happy with that because I know that as I grow and change, so too will my ability to give of myself to others. I may only be able to give a little right now, but I know that it will not be that way forever.
Lord, thank you for the gifts that you have bestowed upon me, the gifts that you have given me to share with others, help me to be content with what I have to offer and know that as I grow so too will my ability to give of myself to others. Amen.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)