End of first semester and home

I have made it home as most of you already know.  The past twelve days have been stressful, challenging, fulfilling, and overall a whirlwind experience.  Just about a week ago I two normal final essay due in both Greek and OT and I had a three hour timed final essay for my history class.  We were given several options for our final history paper and one of options was a three hour timed essay, which is similar to a standard General Ordination Exam, or GOE, session.  By the end of our first semester of our third year those students pursuing ordination must take the GOE.  This test consist of three hour session in seven canonical areas:  Holy Scripture, Church History, Christian Theology, Christian Ethics, Contemporary Studies, Liturgics and Music, and Theory and Practice of Ministry.  So, our professor thought it was a good idea to expose students to these similar situations to ease our general anxieties about the whole experiences.  On a side note, in some dioceses the GOE score is taken under very serious consideration when they decide whether or not to advance a candidate for ordination, while in other diocese it means nothing at all.  Anyways, by Tuesday of last week I had finished my two papers and electronically submitted them and looked towards preparing for the history paper.

I spent a fair amount of time with the texts and my class notes that the professor distributes before each class.  I had a good grasp on the topic and I used a good amount of references to both the texts and the notes.  I sat down, started my timer, and began to type.  After about three hours I had a nine page essay on  about salvation in the middle ages and I thought it was pretty solid.  I sent it off to the professor and will get my grade soon.  I took care of that on Thursday and had Friday to get ready for my flight home to Boston at 11:15 that night.  Friday was a relaxing day and by six Jason, Lauren and I loaded up my car and made our way to SFO, Jason was flying out an hour and half after my departure and Lauren was taking my car back to school.  We did stop for dinner at Sizzler.  It was a classy place but it did have decent food for the options that they had.  It was good to have a full meal before getting on a red-eye flight.  I was at the airport by 9:30 and in the air before 11:30.

The flight was uneventful even though I did not sleep.  It is not that I could have fallen asleep, it was that I couldn't even if I had wanted to.  I was sitting two rows from the back in an aisle seat.  I had two people to my left, the aisle and then a set of three more seats.  The flight was full, every seat was filled with a body.  Now there were two bathrooms at the rear of the plane, two rows behind me, and one up front by the front door and the cockpit.  My shoulders are fairly broad and my should extended beyond my seat and into the aisle.  every person that went to the bathroom on that five and a half hour flight, including the flight attendants, hit my shoulder as they walked by...twice, one for going and one from returning.  Not one person went out of their way to try and squeeze by so needless to say I didn't even bother to try and sleep.  Other than getting knocked around a whole bunch the flight went by quickly.  We landed in Boston around 8:00 Saturday morning and I was asleep in my bed by 10:00.

My first semester is done and I have five more until graduation.  While I am taking my time and trying to explore and take advantage of every opportunity that comes my way while I am in Cali,  am always looking forward with my eye on the future.  I have a goal and like a good puzzle every pieces has to line up and fit together to get the desired result, so too for me as I put all the pieces together and move forward.  It is amazing to think how quickly the semester went by.  It was a full three months but it didn't feel like it.  I can only imagine what three years will feel like.

I am home now and ready for a break.  I may post while home but I will be relaxing and getting ready for my next semester.  I fly back to Cali in January so you will definitely hear from me by then.  Merry Christmas.

A difficult task

I received an email from my aunt yesterday evening during class.  I know what you are all thinking why were you on your computer instead of paying attention in class?  My answer is..duh I had other work that I'd rather work on so I zoned out the prof and worked on other assignments.  Just kidding.  I usually take some notes on my computer as well as have the internet up to look up articles pertinent to what the subject being covered that day.  Anyways, I opened the email and started reading.  According to my aunt, a court in Georgia is going to be ruling on a motion to suppress evidence in the murder case for the shooter who shot my uncle almost two years ago on Valentine's Day.  A member of the DA's office is seeking Victim Impact Statements from family members of the victim.  Immediately a rush of emotions swept over me as I remembered back to that day and the days after as we dealt with the aftermath of the seemingly random murder.  I am now tasked with putting my thoughts, feelings, and reactions, now two years removed onto paper before Sunday.

I have spent the last day and a half thinking about the incident and the effect that it has had on me.  It does bring back some very strong emotions, no doubt, but I don't think that it has impacted my daily life.  It did not trigger another depressive episode, which it very well could have, but after thinking about it I have come to a conclusion.  It is my faith that has brought me through this time of trial and tribulation.  I don't feel vindictive or vengeful towards the perpetrators of the crime because while I believe the US judicial system will hopefully determine an appropriate punishment based on the legal gather of facts and evidence.  However, I firmly believe that when Jesus comes again they will have to stand in front of him and be judged for their actions.  Since they violated one of God's most sacred commandments they will be found wanting and deal with the eternal punishment that awaits each of them, all the while my uncle will be joined with God in all of His peace and love that awaits him.  I know that I will see him again, not today or tomorrow, but without a doubt we will see each other again.  I think that the losses that my family have been through over the last four years would be more difficult to deal with if I did not have my faith to comfort me.  My prayer book and my bible have provided me with strength that has served me well over this difficult time.  Hopefully others can find the same peace and comfort as I have...hopefully.

Two weeks and counting

It is amazing how time flies.  There are only two more weeks left in the semester and it seems like we just started.  Where did the time go?  With only two class sessions for each of my courses we are now hitting crunch time.  I have completed two of my four final papers for my classes and only one hard one left.  I do have to do my final history paper but I am meeting with Dan tomorrow so I will have a better feel about it.  Plus there are special directions and options for this paper that make it a little bit easier.  In two weeks I will be back in Boston, where I imagine it will be more like winter than here in Berkeley.  I will miss being here but going home for a month sounds pretty good.  There are a few things that I need to take care of while I am home anyways, including applying for scholarships and grants so that I can have money for next year.  If I keep my head down and continue to plow through the work I will hopefully finish the semester strong and have some decent grades.  Two weeks and counting...and I will be home.  See you all soon.

First setback

For the most part my time here at CDSP has been a fairly smooth ride.  The trip out was uneventful.  The move in was easy.  After a while I settled in and found my place in the community out here.  The transition from home to the west coast was good.  The one area of transition that I knew might be a bit bumpy was in my academics.  Though I only left Lesley just about a year ago, when I first came out here I was still in that academic mindset.  While other students had not been in school for many years I was only looking at a minor layoff of time that I thought could easily be bridged.  So far it has been alright, but I have now hit my first hurdle and I didn't quite clear it.

Of all my classes I knew that my history course was going to be the most difficult and not because of the content but because of the standard of academic writing involved for the course.  I knew that the professor was a hard grader and it is intentional on his part as he hopes to help shape our writing early in our education here so that we will prepared for the more difficult upper level courses that require this style of writing.  For my first paper, I did well getting an 85 but also received some good comments about what I could have done better.  What I was hoping for was some improvement on my second paper.  Improvement in my grade was not my concern but improvement in my understanding of the text, of making an argument, and improvement in my ability to support and defend that argument.  I got my grade for the second paper and I did not do better, but took a few steps back.  While the grade was 80 and nothing to be looked down upon, but there was one fundamental issue with my second paper.  I misinterpreted the text so that completely undermined my whole paper.  My two friends who edited my paper did not catch it.  The TA for the course did not catch it either, but Dan caught it.  There were a lot of things that needed improvement for the paper but the fact that I wrote it under a false pretense then my whole paper is rubbish, for lack of a better word.

I was bummed.  I am not going to lie.  I knew it wasn't an A paper but I thought that given the time and effort put into I thought that I would show some improvement.  It is a hard pill to swallow, but the true measure of my character is not how I act while I am on top, but how I bounce back when I stumble and fall.  I will be meeting with Dan soon to discuss options for my last paper because I need to make sure that I read the texts correctly in order to produce a good final paper.  It is only one grade, on one paper, in one class that is just one part of my three year education.  Though it is hard to be knocked down, I know that I will stand back up and strive to do a better job the next time around.