Is it truly always business and never personal?

I have been working for the same company now for almost six years and I am now approaching the end of my time there.  With every passing day it becomes more and more of a tangible reality.  If I were not pursuing ordained ministry as a vocation then I could definitely see myself being able to make a career with the company since it is a great place with great people, however that will not be my direction.  While most of my time with company has been great the dynamics of my location have shifted dramatically in the last few months.  The first major change that occurred was the hiring of one of my best friends, and I mean I have known this guy since elementary school.  Now before we even brought him into our operation I had to make sure that I was going to be able to handle separating our friendship from our "professional" work relationship.  So often when friends work with each other, and most certainly in an authoritative situation,  that line then becomes fuzzy and that is when chaos ensues.   I believe that  up until now I have done a good job at setting that apart and establishing good boundaries that have lasted longer than a year, but today something happened that caused me to pause and reexamine the situation for a different perspective.  I was pissed at him for the way he reacted in a specific situation and felt that he had been childish when he should have been focusing on his work responsibilities.  After caving in and allowing him to do what he "needed" to do, I put up a wall and was being a downright asshole, pardon my language.  It wasn't until on my way home that I thought about it some more and realized that I was so worked up about something so minor and I thought about whether these feelings were being transferred from something else.  I will look into this a little more in the days to come, because this really may a sign that the stress of work has finally worn me down and that this might be the right time for this adventure to begin and take me away.  More to come....

If you had a fresh start what would you do?

How often in our lives do we get an opportunity to start over?  To wipe the slate clean ad start anew?  For some people that type of change only comes about when they hit rock bottom and have no choice but to dramatically change their life or risk losing it all.  "For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, yet lose his soul?"  Fortunately for me I am not in this position and that this transition, or even transformation if you will, is purely coming about because of my desire to pursue what I believe God is calling me to do with the time I am given.  In two months time that transformation will begin when I leave everything that is my life, my family, and friends, my parish family, my job, absolutely everything behind to seek out what God has in store for me on the other side of the country.  I believe that in order for this to be a truly fresh start I must do a realistic look at my life, take an inventory and shed all excess baggage.  Over the next few days I will continue to examine what it is I am leaving behind.  While I know that it may be painful to let go of some of this baggage but, in the long run, it will be in my best interest to let go of everything holding me back from living into the life God has called me to live.  This way there will also be no distraction from full engagement into the new community which I will be apart of for the next three years.  This will be essential for me to thrive in a place so far removed from my life as I have known it thus far.  I am looking forward to the challenges that lie ahead, but there is also the lingering doubt that this may turn out like some of my other experiences that I have had.  More on that later.  This is a good start.

I truly see this blog as serving a dual purpose.  On the one hand, it will serve as an opportunity for others to follow my experiences as I travel across the country to seminary in California.  But it will also serve as an opportunity for me to reflect on where I am in my walk with God as I prepare to embark on this adventure, one which I will lead me through the rest of my life.

The decision has been made...head west young man!

In three months time I will be in Berkeley, California ready to begin seminary at the Church Divinity School of the Pacific.  Over the next three months I will share with the world my thoughts and feelings which will then culminate in a road trip across the country from Waltham, MA to Berkeley.  The road trip will be epic as it will mark the beginning of a new life, an opportunity to start anew.  Stay tuned, I will be in touch.